Loony Florida Man Tries to Set “The Jews” on Fire, Fails

I’ve always thought burning a building down would be pretty easy. People do it by accident pretty regularly, so doing it intentional must be possible. Just lay a fuzzy on top of a space heater or something. Turns out, it’s not quite so easy as all that, as Walter Edward Stolper, nutzo Anti-Semite from way down Florida way, found out to his detriment.

Walter Edward Stolper was arrested and charged with attempted murder and attempted arson after trying to burn down his condo to kill his Jewish neighbors. Enraged by his recent eviction, Stolper decided the best course of action was to burn down the whole damn building. “If I can’t live here,” we imagine he though, “no one can!”

The dude did manage to pour gasoline down the garbage chute by the time the Miami Beach police arrived. He also had nearly 30 additional gasoline containers ready to go, and could have easily caused an explosion. Florida Man got really close to his goal this time. If only he hadn’t told everyone he knew how much he hated “the Jews,” he might have gotten away with it too! Of course, Stolper couldn’t resist blabbing to Luis Diaz, saying “going to burn down the building with all the fucking Jews.” Predictably, Diaz turned him in. Because Diaz is not an insane racist, apparently.

The moral here is that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Also, get over it with the Jews already.

When the cops busted into Stolper’s condo, seen above, they found a ton of Nazi books and “artifacts” decorated with swastikas. They also found a bunch of electric fans, which Stolper apparently intended to use to literally fan the flames. Then there were the padlocks he intended to apply to the buildings fire hoses so rescuers couldn’t use them to put out the fire. As nuts as this guy is, this is a chilling level of attention to detail. This could have very well been a major terrorist incident if Stolper was smart enough to keep his racism to himself.

It’s also not clear why the guy was being evicted from his condo. I’ll give you three guesses and the first two don’t count. Also, in a stunning coup, his neighbors actually were Jewish. It’s much more common that murderous twats like Stolper instead imagine everyone who dislikes them is a member of their most-hated racial group, be it lizard people or da Joos.

When asked by police why he had so much gasoline just lying around, Stolper said “I bought the gas to make a small barbecue.” That’s how I start my barbecue, with GASOLINE. Just like you might throw in some potassium nitrate, red phosphorus, and thermite to spice things up.

This is a hate crime, right?

Is this guy going to get charged with a hate crime or terrorism or anything? It absolutely seems to fit the definition. The cynical take is that, since he’s white, he’s a “disturbed individual” instead of a “racist monster.”

The ADL is pushing for the Miami Beach states attorney to label these charges a hate crime. Based on what we know, it definitely seems to fit Florida’s statute. Labeling a crime a hate crime in Florida means that penalties are enhanced and crimes are “upgraded” to the next level of offense. In this case, this could up his current charge of felony attempted murder and arson to a life felony. If he were convicted, Florida law allows for only life imprisonment or the death penalty as punishments.

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