So you want a bit of “strange” on your Twitter feed each morning? Though there are a ton of weirdos on social media, some of the best standouts come from the celebrity world.
I already know what you’re thinking: “AMANDA BYNES IS CRAAZY I FOLLOW HER LOL.” Salient observation, reader! But everyone knows that Amanda Bynes is a nut right now, her Twitter weirdness is literally 44% of our traffic.
We want to shine a light on the darker, hidden corners of the celebrity world. We’re not looking for “lol crazy,” we’re looking for scary, aggressive, completely-detached-from-reality crazy. We want your batshit, tinfoil-hat wearing uncle who won’t speak to you about the government within five feet of your laptop or television.
He exists! His name is …
No. 1 – Gary Busey
The Buse has kind of fallen out of the zeitgeist lately, but thanks to his 100% verified Twitter account, you can wax nostalgic for Celebrity Apprentice every single day! Join his 100,536 followers for daily advice on weight loss:
Every time I speak I’m losing weight.
— Gary Busey (@THEGaryBusey) July 27, 2013
Your honesty hurts me and loves me too and that’s the truth.
— Gary Busey (@THEGaryBusey) July 25, 2013
You can talk LOUD but LOVE is louder without making a sound in having to talk. — Gary Busey (@THEGaryBusey) July 23, 2013
No. 2 – Jose Canseco
Jose Canseco was a great baseball player because of drugs, and he’s great to follow on Twitter for probably the same reason. He’s one of the meanest sumbitches on Twitter, and when his feed isn’t a domestic dispute playing out in real time, he entertains his 519,872 followers with his perversions:
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) August 23, 2013
Casting suggestions for summer blockbusters:
Lessons on gravity and the origins of the earth:
Ancient gravity was much weaker — Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
elephants today eight tons supersaurs two hundred tons a totally different world. why? — Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
Gravity had to be weaker to make dinosaurs nimble — Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
I may not be 100% right but think about it. How else could 30 foot leather birds fly? — Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
That’s literally only like … 10 percent of his Twitter lecture.
No. 3 – Kirstie Alley
Kirstie Alley is a Scientologist. That should probably be the end of the discussion, but just for fun:
hello — Kirstie Alley (@kirstiealley) August 23, 2013
what movie have you seen the most time? ……….. Mine are Bridget Jones and Gladiator — Kirstie Alley (@kirstiealley) August 23, 2013
Those are good. I like Shawshank Redemption, but the movie I seen the most time are probably Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or something.
doog thgin….oooxxxx — Kirstie Alley (@kirstiealley) August 22, 2013
Well, you know I had a lot of time as a kid to watch kid movies … wait, what?
— Kirstie Alley (@kirstiealley) August 22, 2013
Uhh … good night.
No. 4 – Courtney Love
Courtney Love … excuse me … Courtney Love Cobain was Twitter crazy long before Amanda Bynes. In fact, she was real crazy probably long before Amanda Bynes was even born. But beneath that sloppy, drunk exterior is a real tortured and creative soul that composes tweets of such lyrical quality as:
taking years off my face and boobs, yes boobs with my @BioxideaUSA face and boob masks then going to bed. night chitown
— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) July 18, 2013
hurry up Pickle………x — Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) August 1, 2013
To be fair to Courtney Love, her Twitter more often than not hosts bouts of relative calm than crazy these days. It’s really a shame you can’t follow her old handle @CourtneyLoveUK, because that’s where all the good stuff was at.
No. 5 – Juliana Hatfield
Juliana Hatfield is an American guitarist/singer-songwriter who achieved some fame in the indie rock scene. She’s still around (going back to school, actually), and her tweets are absolutely nutty. She’s actually a really entertaining follow. She seems to have that quiet, unsettling tone of a lonely cat lady talking to a brick wall, but she has over 12,000 followers that soak up her strangeness.
first there were just leggings then there were jeggings now there are treggings so i’ve invented ‘beggings’–combo of bacon and leggings
— Juliana Hatfield (@julianahatfield) August 21, 2013
spending a little too much time looking at my name in heavy metal fonts at heavy metal font sites
— Juliana Hatfield (@julianahatfield) August 20, 2013
almost vegan (just can’t part with my assless chaps)
— Juliana Hatfield (@julianahatfield) August 7, 2013
Tila Tequila (Honorable Mention)
Poor Tila Tequila, who honestly believes that she can create Kamehame-ha’s with her hands. Whether it’s the Illuminati, Biblical eschatology, or alien conspiracy, Tila is always a hit. We’re cheating a bit on this entry because Tila Tequila’s official Twitter handle no longer exists. Follow her on Facebook instead. It’s a hoot, I tell you.