Worst Republican Beliefs When It Comes To Climate Change

Republican Beliefs On Climate Change

Republicans will literally say anything to avoid spending money on our planet. As far as they’re concerned, climate change is a conspiracy theory and someone else’s problem. They hardly need to say much, let alone sound intelligent, for their sheep to follow suit and agree with them. If you can put aside the fact that their selfishness is doing irreversible damage to our planet, then what they say is actually kind of funny, in a moronic sort of way. Here are the worst Republican beliefs when it comes to climate change.

Sarah Palin

Republican Beliefs On Climate Change

“These global warming studies [are] a bunch of snake oil science.”

If you’re anything like me, you’re wondering what the heck snake oil science is. So, I Googled it and found that it is a book that critiques a number of alternative medicines. Not that knowing what snake oil science is will help you to better understand what Sarah Palin is talking about here.

Ted Cruz

Republican Beliefs On Climate Change

“Climate change is not science. It’s religion.”

According to Ted Cruz, the study of how technology and human presence affects the environment is a religion. Is there a church or place of worship that I haven’t heard of? Should I be celebrating any holidays affiliated with this religion? Or perhaps, Cruz just needs to go back to school and learn what science is again. Even if climate change were complete hogwash, it would still be a scientific theory, Mr. Cruz.

Marco Rubio

Republican Beliefs On Climate Change

“We are not going to destroy our economy, make America a harder place to create jobs, in order to pursue a policy that will do nothing, nothing to change our climate, to change our weather.”

Ummm…what? Marco Rubio, do you know what climate change it? It’s not a bunch of people who are trying to make the sun come out more often so they can maintain their tans. No one wants to change our weather. This is just what happens when we don’t take care of the planet. A planet we need to take care of if we want it to be here for a while longer. I already know what Rubio’s response would be to that though because it’s something he has already said.

“America is not a planet.”

Okay, dumbass.

Kelly Ayotte

Republican Beliefs On Climate Change

“There is scientific evidence that demonstrates there is some impact from human activities. However, I don’t think the evidence is conclusive.”

Well, perhaps we should put more money behind these scientific theories then until they’re able to find evidence that Kelly Ayotte feels is conclusive. I mean, it’s only our planet and all of the life it holds that we’re talking about. We might get to live our lives without consequence, but will our children? Our grandchildren? Our planet should be a priority.

Donald Trump

Republican Beliefs On Climate Change

“It’s really cold outside, they are calling it a major freeze, weeks ahead of normal. Man, we could use a big fat dose of global warming!”

Here’s another guy who doesn’t understand what climate change is, and unfortunately he’s our current president. Donald Trump thinks that global warming is something that affects whether or not we put a coat on when we go outside. It’s not. The gradual warming of the planet is so minute, we barely notice it. It is noticed, however, by the oceans, glaciers, and wild animals. If you need a visual like Mr. Trump apparently does, simply take notice of the worsening rain and hurricanes across the world. Trump is too busy watching China’s every move to notice all the rain though.

“Well, I think the climate change is just a very, very expensive form of tax. A lot of people are making a lot of money. I know much about climate change. I’d be—received environmental awards. And I often joke that this is done for the benefit of China. Obviously, I joke. But this is done for the benefit of China, because China does not do anything to help climate change. They burn everything you could burn; they couldn’t care less. They have very—you know, their standards are nothing. But they—in the meantime, they can undercut us on price. So it’s very hard on our business.”

It’s all about money and business. That has always been the American priority.

Herman Cain

Republican Beliefs On Climate Change

“Do we have climate change? Yes. Is it a crisis? No. … Because the science, the real science, doesn’t say that we have any major crisis or threat when it comes to climate change.”

At least Herman Cain admits that climate change is real, but his feeling on there being a lack of threat is pretty disturbing. No threat in his lifetime perhaps, but that’s not saying very much. Putting certain systems into action to preserve this planet isn’t an act that will benefit those who are currently living, but those who are to come in the future.

Carly Fiorina

Republican Beliefs On Climate Change

“I believe if you’re going to go to science, you need to read the fine print. And here’s what the scientists say: A single nation acting alone can make no difference at all.”

Who says we’d be the only nation fighting climate change Carly Fiorina? Even though the United States backed out of the Paris Agreement, there are still a number of other countries that are working toward the pledge to keep global warming lesser than 2°C above pre-industrial levels. In fact, the United Kingdom, Sweeden, and Morroco are currently putting in the most effort toward meeting this goal while the United States is at the bottom with Russia and Saudi Arabia. Kind of embarrassing.

Mike Huckabee

Republican Beliefs On Climate Change

“A volcano in one blast will contribute more than a hundred years of human activity.”

Mike Huckabee’s beliefs on climate change are like those people who tell themselves to have an extra piece of cake because they could get hit by a bus on their way home. While true, that doesn’t mean these people won’t die of heart disease in 10 years. So, while a volcano might contribute a hundred years of human activity to the planet, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t we should keep eating all the cake we want!

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Rose Burke

Freelance writer and art enthusiast, Rose Burke, often writes humorous essays inspired by awkward dating experiences and life’s cruel sense of humor. When she's not doing that, she's typically writing entertainment articles on women's issues, politics, feminism, and other trending topics her readers love. Her work has been published in The Southampton Review, The Conium Review, The Richest, The Independent, CINEMABLEND, and more. Author of the popular feminist blog series "Writings of the Satirical Feminista," Rose is currently focusing on a collection of humorous personal essays while she travels the world.


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