Vote for Scott Wallace, Because It’s Awesome When Politicians Start Talking About Population Control

Ask any card-carrying Republican about the overall Democratic agenda, and you’ll very likely hear a variety of explanations, some slick, some blunt, some educated, and some from Florida. Most of them, however, boils down to the same basic explanation: Democrats want to seize control of the government, swell it to an unimaginable size, and extinguish everyday freedoms under a pseudo-egalitarian regime that only plays at equality and diversity.

A lot of times, that whole “Democrats want to make your choices for you” argument is easily defended, if not defused, with a little logic. Then, there’s Congressional candidate Scott Wallace, who’s running against GOP incumbent Brian Fitzpatrick in Pennsylvania’s 1st district.

People hoping to refute the belief that Democrats think they know what’s best for other people should steer clear of the old Scott Wallace mention.


Who the F&*! Is Scott Wallace?

If elected, Scott Wallace would become the third wealthiest member of Congress.

A third-generation politician, Scott Wallace loves to play up the “tenacious progressive” angle while glossing over the “third-generation rich kid” angle. See, in between working as a one-term VP for FDR, Wallace’s grandad, Henry A., found the time to start up a successful seed company.

You might think, who gives a crap about seeds? The answer is DuPont. The sprawling conglomerate best known for engineering the murder of Olympic wrestlers gave such a big crap about seeds that it acquired Henry A.’s seed company in the nineties for a tidy $10 billion. As one of the grandkids, Scotty definitely got his share.


Of course, his life of luxury is a sore spot for the Democrat, who professes, “I do not have a jet. I do not have a yacht. I do not drive fancy cars. I drive a Chevy. I grew up in Doylestown. I waited tables. I pumped gas.” I am one of you, fellow blue collar workers. I know where gross people live. I once did manual labor. I also do football watching while cooking hamburgers and drinking beer. Okay, it’s not beer, it’s 30-year-old Scotch … and technically, my manservant, Codsworthy, runs the grill. I do watch football, though! I’m a Steelers fan. Wait, is that wrong?

What’s All This About Population Control?

As all wealthy dynasties must, Scott Wallace’s family has their own charitable organization which Wallace himself oversees. The Wallace Global Fund’s charming, yet oblivious mission is to fight “the rise of the global corporatist state,” (who was it they sold the family business to, again?). They’re also big fans of supplying money to under-funded NGOs, advocating for global democracy, and fighting climate change … because these days your charity is nothing if it’s not combatting climate change.


Of course, buried under all that do-goodery is a troubling series of contributions — about $7 million over two decades — to groups that support federal population control.

Wallace retains a personal interest in population control. On his campaign website, Wallace states that population growth is one of the two biggest threats facing the world today. That might be cool if you think Thanos did nothing wrong, but for some other people, advocating population control comes off kind of despotic.

Just me? via GIPHY

Who Says Money Can’t Buy an Election?

Judging from the Wallace campaign’s lackluster community engagement, it would seem that the people aren’t exactly rushing to support his mandate for public office.

Filings with the Federal Election Commission reveal that Wallace has successfully out-raised his incumbent opponent in this reporting period, but that win was only secure thanks to a $2.3 million donation from Wallace himself. That brings Wallace’s total contributions up to his own campaign to around $4.8 million since the beginning of the campaign.


Beyond Wallace’s money, the Democrat’s campaign has earned about half a million in donations. But, as Wallace says, it’s super expensive to live in Philly, so that must be why no one is donating to his campaign.

A Quick Note About Wallace’s Opponent

For the roughly 312,890,000 people who live outside of Pennsylvania, you might not be aware of Wallace’s GOP opponent, former FBI agent Brian Fitzpatrick. Believe me, I wish I could say that he was a huge Trump-supporting douche. As Republicans go, however, Fitzpatrick knows how the game is played.

He was one of six GOP reps to vote against legislation that would put the kibosh on a carbon tax. He was one of 120 Congressional members voted a Defender of Children for his pro-kid legislating. Perhaps worst of all, Fitzpatrick is the kind of politician who eschews hot-button issues in favor of focusing on topics near and dear to his constituents.


One time Fitzpatrick subtly implied that Donald Trump was being manipulated by Vladimir Putin by saying, “The president was manipulated by Vladimir Putin.” Fitzpatrick also co-sponsored a House bill that supported the Mueller investigation.

The major strike against Fitzpatrick is his personal anti-abortion stance. That said, when it comes to voting, he’s even-handed, having voted against defunding Planned Parenthood.

In short, from a distance, Fitzpatrick looks like that rare GOP unicorn, a moderate, who focuses on doing the job in front of him rather than playing to tabloids.


Be Wary of Rich White Guys in ‘Woke’ Clothing

In today’s hyper-partisan national landscape, it’s tempting to ignore the candidate’s proclivities in favor of voting Blue or Red. After all, during this midterm, aren’t we really voting to support or destroy Trump? In that context, the battle for Pennsylvania’s First District is a simple choice between, “Go with Scott Wallace,” or “Go with Donald Trump.”

Sure, why not? Let’s squeeze out another moderate willing to defy party lines in favor of compromise and progress so we can prop up another old white guy who believes he can connect with the common man by growing some stubble and wearing an actual blue collar in his campaign ads.

Give me a Republican who votes with his constituents over yet another old white fella who’s been raised to believe that he deserves to boss other people around any day of the week. It looks like Congress needs more people willing to compromise, not a crest in the blue wave that’s just more of the same.

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