Actor Emile Hirsch is best known for his work in films like The Girl Next Door and Into the Wild, but he’s a pretty good Twitter follow, too. Case in point, he pretty much nailed Valentine’s Day this morning:
Happy Valentines Day! A great day for people who are already happy to rejoice, and for sad and miserable people to wallow on a deeper level.
— Emile Hirsch (@EmileHirsch) February 14, 2014
Oh, Emile. Go on.
Ah, the handing out of Valentines- what better way to let all the weird kids in class know nobody wants to be associated with them?
— Emile Hirsch (@EmileHirsch) February 14, 2014
Hey, that one is a little too real. But please, continue.
The idea of Cupid shooting me through the heart with a bow and arrow isn’t as appealing to me after watching The Hunger Games.
— Emile Hirsch (@EmileHirsch) February 14, 2014
Points for being topical. What else?
Valentine’s Day is often a really great way for girlfriends to discover just what selfish assholes they are dating.
— Emile Hirsch (@EmileHirsch) February 14, 2014
You forgot to add “but still won’t break up with said selfish asshole.”
On a more positive Valentine’s Day note, my cousin just got custody of his kids today amidst a bitter and vindictive divorce!
— Emile Hirsch (@EmileHirsch) February 14, 2014
Family becomes a recurring theme.
Valentine’s Day is probably not the best day to tell your wife you’re cheating on her with her sister. Better wait ’til Mother’s Day.
— Emile Hirsch (@EmileHirsch) February 14, 2014
Then it gets personal …
Valentine’s Day has me feeling so much better about my love life that I’m not even going to put lipstick on my blow up doll tonight.
— Emile Hirsch (@EmileHirsch) February 14, 2014
And then on to the practical advice:
Valentine’s Day is NOT the day where you suggest to your girlfriend that you should both start farting in front of each other.
— Emile Hirsch (@EmileHirsch) February 14, 2014
Valentine’s Day is a really great way to lie to your girlfriend by sayin she’s not fat by buyin her chocolates and then PRAYING they stolen.
— Emile Hirsch (@EmileHirsch) February 14, 2014
Happy Valentine’s Day! You can follow Emile Hirsch on Twitter here.
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