Man Arrested for Peeing on Walmart Floor, Stealing Fish

People of Walmart: Drunk Man Arrested for Urinating on Walmart Floor, Putting Trout Down Pants

Walmart is the wild west of retail stores. Vast, open frontiers of name-brands, knock-offs, and name-brand knock-offs. A glorious display of excess and capitalism in the ugly manufactured world of everyday low-prices. Even in this lawless territory, the drunk and disorderly can go too far—by taking a piss on the floor, for example.

That’s precisely what Tennessee’s David Wylie stands accused of doing. According to police reports, Wylie was drunk and urinated on the beer isle floor. He then stuffed some frozen trout in his pants and stumbled merrily toward the exit, where he was caught.

The arresting officer says Wylie wasn’t concerned about his actions, insisting they were only “misdemeanors.”

“Wylie’s statements as well as the detection of alcohol led me to believe that the offenses were likely to continue,” the officer wrote.

Wylie, who is 56, was charged with shoplifting, vandalism, indecent exposure and public intoxication.

This isn’t the only recent example of going too far inside a Walmart store. Fox News reports on a couple who were arrested after getting into a Silly String fight and wasting multiple cans of product:

A couple was arrested after allegedly getting into a Silly String fight inside a Michigan Walmart, emptying “multiple” cans across multiple aisles in the store before leaving without paying… Samantha Christiansen, 26, and Derek Gomez, 24, were free on bond after reportedly facing a misdemeanor charge of third-degree retail fraud. The report said employees demanded that they pay for the cans before leaving the store, but they refused. The retail fraud charge is leveled when up to $200 worth of products were stolen. The report points out that Silly String sells for about $3 a can.