Forget Alex Jones: Rosanne Is the Voice of the Alt-Right

Alex Jones is a hard guy to forget. He’s been the outrageous voice of the alt-right, screaming himself hoarse about how Democrats are actual goblins, evil chemicals are making frogs gay (actually kinda true!), and chemtrails are destroying our free will.

rosanne alex jones — Get boned, Alex Jones: Rosanne is our new favorite nut job. Image by Sean P. Anderson from Dallas, TX, USA (Alex Jones) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

But Alex Jones’ red-faced enthusiasm is but a shadow compared to the mass market appeal of one-time TV star Rosanne Barr. She’s back, she’s an alt-right troll, and she’s sadly representative of a huge portion of the American people!

Improbably, unbelievably, Rosanne has risen from screaming in the back row of Twitter’s right-wing troll army to become the voice of a generation. Or, at the very least, the same bitter and faux-disenfranchised portion of the generation that Donald Trump appeals to. The apparently-still-alive TV star is back to create sympathetic portrayals of the kind of people that think it’s unfair not to have a White Pride Parade.

What the Hell Happened to Rosanne?

Something got super screwy in her brain box, that’s what. Maybe she got hit really hard. Or just got stood up by a Democrat on a date.

You might be surprised to discover that Rosanne hasn’t always been a mouth-breathing moron willing to believe anything scrawled on the wall in feces, provided it was written by Republicans. Sure, the star has always exuded a vague air of being slightly unhinged, perhaps sort of maniacal or unsettling. But there was a time, back in the nineties, when she was what her one-time husband called “a feminist-pacifist voice for the working folks” rather than a “far-right Trump loving troll.”

Is She Really That Bad?

Today’s Rosanne Barr is nothing like the once-beloved star and character from TV of yore. She has absorbed and regurgitated every alt-right conspiracy theory out there, including the ones that conflict with each other.

rosanne barr tweets — Case in point: this tweet about QAnon, the obviously fake “”leaker”” making up shit about the president for consumption by gullible fools.

She’s a birther. She believes in Pizzagate. She said David Hogg performed the Nazi salute. I mean, that doesn’t make sense even if you consider his activism to be carefully controlled by the evil supergroup of George Soros, Hillary Clinton, and the Lizard People. It would be really sloppy of the Lizard People, to be honest, and I’ve come to expect better from their careful manipulation of the media. Manipulation so careful and insidious than only a sharp eye like Rosanne’s can spot it, apparently. But I digress.

This makes her the perfect substitute for Alex Jones, who has gotten a little stale, to be honest. After all, his lunacy is just a character he performs, according to his child custody lawsuit. Rosanne does things differently, you see: she’s an unlikable troll in real life, but a sympathetic human on TV.

Her character on the show is actually way more sympathetic than her real-life self. It’s a different construct, someone who’s far more watchable and much less disturbing. And the show actually isn’t a nuclear dumpster fire, which would honestly be what I would expect given the content of her Twitter feed.

In an upcoming episode, I’m sure she’ll explain how immigrants took her husband job and denied her healthcare. She’ll shepherd her daughter through a crisis of faith by appealing to Great Daddy Trump’s magnificence. Maybe she’ll even go volunteer to work on the border wall and leave the rest of us alone.