Let it never be said that George R.R. Martin, author of the celebrated A Song of Ice and Fire novel series, can’t plan an interesting wedding.
The novels, as well as their HBO adaptation Game of Thrones, have hosted two major weddings thus far, and both have been memorable to say the least. In honor of the Dothraki custom which holds that a wedding without at least three deaths is considered a “dull affair,” College Humor imaged Martin as the ultimate wedding planner who offers packages including untraceable poison deaths, deadly assassins disguised as band members, and plenty of rape and murder.
The viral video’s description says it best: “Red Wedding or Purple Wedding, you definitely don’t want a George R.R. Martin Game of Thrones Wedding.”
Watch the clip above, but be warned that it contains spoilers from last night’s episode, titled “The Lion and the Rose.” Unless you’ve been living under a bridge, there’s pretty much no way that the Red Wedding hasn’t been spoiled for you by now, but we’ll give the Purple Wedding a little bit more time on your DVR before we start dropping spoil-bombs.
Find out why George R.R. Martin shouldn’t plan your wedding above.