The annual Presidential Turkey Pardon is a darling tradition that goes back decades. With all of the cameras and photographers present though, Trump took it as just another opportunity to make an absolute fool of himself and our country. While he was busy doing all that, he asked if he could touch the turkey and people quickly started to point out that our president seems to have more respect for a bird then he does for women. The tweets that followed are just too funny not to share.
The Tweet That Started It All
tfw you realize trump respects turkeys more than women. pic.twitter.com/OEmcxoXpGv
— Liz Plank (@feministabulous) November 23, 2017
When Vox producer and political correspondent Liz Plank responded to Trump’s now-infamous question in a simple tweet, she probably didn’t expect it to get as much attention as it did. Not only did it make a ton of headlines, but it also seems to be all that people are talking about regarding what went down with the Turkey Pardon. Plank’s tweet which said, “tfw you realize Trump respects turkeys more than women,” got so many epic responses and follow up comments that we just had to share them.
Sure, NOW You Ask
Sure, NOW you ask!!! pic.twitter.com/kJP0TMvVlW
— Coll W.???????????????? (@collw63) November 24, 2017
This Twitter user’s response is just too hilarious not to share. “Sure, NOW you ask!!!” likely refers to the dozens of women Trump has been accused of groping and sexually assaulting over the years. Has he finally learned his lesson? Nope, probably not.
When It’s A Turkey He Asks Permission
Guess when it's a turkey he asks permission. pic.twitter.com/aCv2gS8bVD
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) November 21, 2017
Obviously, the turkey somehow managed to earn Trump’s respect which caused him to ask for permission to touch it. Since the two both have bird brains, perhaps the turkey was able to communicate its preferred boundaries to Trump prior to their meeting. This would also explain why he has always felt he could grope any woman he wanted to. They clearly didn’t speak bird, so Trump couldn’t understand them when they repeatedly said “no” and pushed him away.
Surprised He Didn’t Grab’Em By The Feathers
Surprised he didn’t grab’em by the feathers.
— Dog Mom ????=???? (@knoxmom09) November 23, 2017
When it comes to our dear president, we know all too well that he feels he has the right to grab women by their crotches simply because he’s famous. It seems that this doesn’t apply to turkeys though, even the turkeys with lady parts. Some Twitter users started to speculate why he suddenly decided to ask permission, and it comes down to his previous experience with birds.
The American Eagle Disaster
To be fair, he's still a bit jittery after that disaster with the American eagle. pic.twitter.com/rqVh0kkoRC
— Augustus Rose (@rrosedelay) November 25, 2017
Remember when Trump reached out to touch that American Eagle without asking permission first, and he nearly lost a hand? It seems that the incident left an impact on the President large enough that the next time he was in the presence of a large bird he felt the need to ask before touching it. If only he’d have a similar epiphany when it comes to how he treats women.
The Turkey Might Bite Him
He won't touch the turkey without asking because the turkey might bite him. As women, let us take the appropriate lesson from that.
— Joy of Resistance (@JoyofResistance) November 23, 2017
It has become rather obvious that the only reason Trump asked permission to touch the turkey is that he was afraid of it. This Twitter user pointed out the obvious quite elegantly when they wrote, “He won’t touch the turkey without asking because the turkey might bite him. As women, let us take the appropriate lesson from that.” Is this what it has come to? Do we have to start biting men now to get them to stop sexually assaulting us? Apparently, we do!
Let’s Make It Happen
Ahh, so all we need to do is bite his hand and he'll start treating us like people? Okay, I think we can make that happen!
— Michelle Giuseffi (@MGiuseffi) November 25, 2017
Some Twitter users are now promoting the notion that if we start biting men when they get out of line, they’ll actually learn their lesson and keep their hands to themselves. Specifically, when it comes to Trump, this method seems to work. Now if only we could grow teeth between our legs, then we could ensure sexual assault would never happen again.
Maybe He’ll Extend The Same Courtesy To Womenfolk
@billmaher I thought you'd find it amusing that Trump respectfully asked for permission, and even when granted, hesitated a second, to touch the turkey. Another thousand years of evolution and maybe he'll extend the same courtesy to womenfolk.
— ???????????????????? ???????????????????? (@shawnlesky) November 21, 2017
In case you didn’t spend your Thanksgiving watching the president attempt to shake hands with a turkey, you may not know that Trump hesitated to touch the bird even after he was told he could. This Twitter user described it best when they wrote to Bill Maher, “I thought you’d find it amusing that Trump respectfully asked for permission, and even when granted, hesitated a second to touch the turkey. Another thousand years of evolution and maybe he’ll extend the same courtesy to womenfolk.” Another thousand years of evolution and we’ll all be dead, either due to natural causes or the extinction of men after women revolt.
There’s A First Time For Everything
Trump said "Am I allowed to touch it?" before touching the turkey and it was probably the first time he ever asked permission before touching a living being in his life#turkeypardon pic.twitter.com/4AOUSC8mnK
— sophie hirsh ???? (@maynotbecool) November 21, 2017
It may have been the first time Trump has ever asked permission to touch someone, but there’s a first time for everything! Perhaps this will be a trend, and we’ll be seeing a whole new side to Donald Trump over the next year. With the 2020 presidential election coming up, you never know what tricks he has up his sleeve. Likely, though, trying to convince us all that he’s a decent guy is one of them.
If It Was A Pussy Cat
Donald Trump asks permission to touch the turkey, but I bet you if it was a pussy cat he would just grab it.https://t.co/98LiwbgCOT
— Darren Maule ????️???? (@darrenmaule) November 22, 2017
We all know what our president thinks of pussy… cats. Even Darren Maule, a radio host in South Africa, knows and made a hilarious observation about it in a tweet where he wrote, “Donald Trump asks permission to touch the turkey, but I bet if it was a pussy cat he would just grab it.” Yep, that sounds about right!
The Turkey Wanted It
The turkey wanted it.
— Kurt Schlichter (@KurtSchlichter) November 24, 2017
“The turkey wanted it,” is the perfect tweet to describe how Trump would have responded if he hadn’t asked permission to touch the turkey and the bird fought back. We know this because it’s exactly what he says about the sexual assault accusations. Apparently, all of these women wanted to be groped, assaulted, and raped by him.
If The Turkey Wore A Dress
He wouldn't have asked permission if it was wearing a dress.
— Treboros (@TreborosLive) November 23, 2017
I don’t know what’s funnier, the image of a turkey in a dress or the image of Trump groping a turkey in a dress. Regardless, it’s pretty clear that even with the cameras around he wouldn’t have asked permission if that turkey was a woman. Fortunately for the turkey, he’s a bird and wasn’t wearing a skirt that Trump could shove his hand up.