Paging Professor Negan: Pennsylvania Is Arming Teachers With Baseball Bats Now

We literally posted an article three weeks back or so about how Pennsylvania school districts were arming teachers AND students with, I kid you not, “buckets of rocks” in the wake of all the school shootings. It was a foolish idea that would have backfired and turned into giant rock fights among students and teachers that would’ve hurt MORE people. Well, apparently Pennsylvania read the piece, because once I pointed out that it would only end in MORE violence, they changed their mind.

B..b..b…but wait, it gets worse…

So now, in lieu of putting buckets of river rocks in each classroom (again, NOT kidding), they have made the MUCH more stable decision (sarcasm font) of giving the teachers baseball bats. This is also insane. Just the very idea that Pennsylvania seems to REALLY WANT to make sure violent justice is served and thinks a bunch of students watching teachers potentially slowly beat one of their peers to death with baseball bats is the answer.

Here, let me show you how this will play out.

Warning: this is a very graphic and VERY honest portrayal of what we lunatics like to call baseball bat justice:

So as you can see, arming teachers with baseball is not only unpractical (bats against bullets, no contest, bullets win), it will only end up in the long term mentally scarring of even more teenage kids.

Crazy how difficult it seems to be for these schools to just get METAL DETECTORS because, you know, that would actually SOLVE the problem without forcing people to kill each other like in the movie…

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Kokou Adzo

Kokou Adzo is a seasoned professional with a strong background in growth strategies and editorial responsibilities. Kokou has been instrumental in driving companies' expansion and fortifying their market presence. His academic credentials underscore his expertise; having studied Communication at the Università degli Studi di Siena (Italy), he later honed his skills in growth hacking at the Growth Tribe Academy (Amsterdam).


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