Maids Pretend to Be Your Sweet Spouse at Ore no Yome Cafe

The ad, all powder blues and pinks with a logo of a silhouetted groom carrying his blushing bride, reads: “As soon as you know what time you’ll be home, let me know dear! I’ll get your dinner ready.”

Welcome to Ore No Yome, a maid cafe in Japan that takes the concept to new heights of comfort and hospitality for all the lovelorn, work-weary salary men and office ladies dreading the lonely road home.

Aprons and “Welcome home, darling!” have replaced classic French maid uniforms and greetings of “welcome home, master”. Just imagine: Your “wife” is there at the door to welcome you “home” with a smile even warmer than the home-cooked meal waiting for you with promises of affection and doting, and a captive audience to listen to the travails of the day. She turns around — and she’s got a bikini on under that apron! Heaven exists, and all is right with the world.

The cafe boasts of many wifely personality types to suit their guests — er, “spouses”, and give them the right chemistry, sweeten the experience, and send them off feeling refreshed. From sweet and shy, to cute and cuddly, to even the thawing prickly-pear charm of the tsundere (twintails optional), there’s bound to be a special someone here for every lonely heart.

Ladies not quite your mileage? Relax; the cafe also has a number of male staff called “my darlings”, cad in not much save for this stylish asymmetrical apron — and a pair of clean shorts underneath, we reckon.

Just look at how capable his arms and hands are, waiting to massage and melt away the day’s stress from your shoulders so he can lean in and whisper: “”You work so hard for us, honey. What a lucky husband I am. the clothes are hanging to dry, the carpet vacuumed, and I’ve just ordered that DVD you like. What would I ever do without you?”

Of course, just like any household (or maid cafe), there are house rules. Covert photographs are a big no-no, lest you risk getting your camera confiscated. You may try to ask politely, or perhaps opt to purchase a fine photograph of your favorite pretend spouse from the staff. The root word here is respect, so detaining, touching, or kissing the staff without their consent is strictly prohibited, and will net you getting blacklisted from the cafe. so long and short of it, play nice, darling.

So there you have it: if you ever find yourself in Tokyo and feel the deep, deep need to feel pampered by a pretend spouse, Ore No Yome will always be there to welcome you home.

Ore no Yome is located at:
Floor B1, Iwashita Building,
3 Chome-9-13,
Higashi Ikebukuro, Tokyo 170-0013
Phone: 03-6331-1533
Open daily from 6pm-11pm

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