Sleeptalking has got to be one of the most interesting things to happen to anyone — as long as you’re not the one doing the talking, I suppose. Whether it’s your mom, dad, your partner, spouse — heck, even your pet, we’ve all got something interesting to say in our sleep. Sleeptalking provides window to our strange and offbeat subconscious, as this girlfriend found out for herself.
A lady from Wichita, Kansas created a Twitter account to chronicle her boyfriend’s somniloquism. It’s nothing short of entertaining.
Sometimes the sleeptalking one-sided convo turns to animals.
I don’t care, I’m getting tigers.
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) January 8, 2016
Or he really just needs some heroes in a half-shell.
We have to get to the sewers… Turtles…
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) October 28, 2015
Whatever did that poor cephalopod do to you?!
No octopus you can’t do that!!
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) October 19, 2015
And he probably dreamt he was on the set of “ER”.
I performed a surgery.
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) October 19, 2015
… I’m pretty sure a chainsaw isn’t a standard-issue medical-grade surgery instrument.
Oh god. OH GOD. We’ve gotta get the chainsaw first.
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) October 22, 2015
Oh, so it’s an amputation now? Bone saw, then.
Did you cut off the leg?
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) November 7, 2015
And now you want it back on?! Make up your mind, Doctor!
Why is it doing that. Why is it cold. Get me a leg.
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) November 28, 2015
Because it’d be pretty wierd if they smelled like a cheese sandwich.
Your eyeballs smell like eyeballs
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) February 17, 2016
Clearly, even sleeptalking can be hungry work.
There’s never enough nacho cheese.
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) December 4, 2015
Hey, no need to get judgmental.
Him: What color is the diamond?
Me: What?
Him: WHAT COLOR IS IT
Me: idk, black??
Him: What are you, stupid?— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) November 11, 2015
This guy seems to have quite the fixation on apples in his sleep.
Aw yisssssss mother fucking apples
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) January 30, 2016
And gets real territorial about it.
I saw you with the apple.
Whore.
— Sir Lord Dick Pat (@Sleep_Sayings) January 26, 2016
0 Comments