Trump’s Not-So-Brave Moments That Will Leave You In A Fit Of Giggles

trumps not so brave

Donald Trump might think he has the potential to be some kind of hero if the moment called for it, but like most of the things that come out of the president’s mouth, this is just another one of his outrageous fantasies. The proof is in the pudding, as people sometimes say, and when it comes to Trump’s lack of bravery there’s more pudding than Carl chowed down on in that episode of The Walking Dead. If you’re not a fan of the show, well, it was a lot of friggin’ pudding. Here are some of Trump’s not-so-brave moments that were caught on camera for us to enjoy over and over and over…

Trump Flees From Bald Eagle

During a photoshoot where Trump posed with a bald eagle, the president had his feathers ruffled a bit. While anyone with an ounce of common sense would remain as still as possible when in the presence of a typically viscous creature, the president seemed to do the opposite. When the bird didn’t approve of Trump’s sudden movement as he reached to move some aspirin on his desk that he didn’t want in the shot, the bird went after his hand sending the president jumping in the opposite direction. “We’re not doing it again,” he says as he looks at the photos that were taken and later calls the bald eagle “seriously dangerous but beautiful.” Perhaps this is a sign of what’s to come as Americans continue to resist Trump’s prejudice agenda.

Trump Clings To Secret Service

Back when Trump was just the chubby candidate no one expected to actually win, a protestor attempted to join him on stage at a campaign speech he was doing in Ohio. If you watch the video carefully, you can see the guy hop the fence on the left side. He hardly gets a hand on the stage before he’s tackled by secret service. The ruckus of the crowd puts Trump on guard, and he clings to a member of the secret service for dear life when they finally reach him on the podium. You can hear Trump supporters in the background shouting things like “Kill him!” and “Kick his ass Donald!” because that’s the kind of people who support our president. Likely this protester was just some kid looking for his 15 minutes of fame, which he hardly received.

Trump Is Afraid Of The Rain

No one likes to get stuck in the rain, but a few drops never killed anyone. Perhaps, like the Wicked Witch of the West, Trump will melt upon the water coming in contact with his skin. This would explain why he hoards umbrellas meant for four people rather than share them with his son or wife. He’s ensuring he doesn’t melt! If letting them get soaked means he gets to live a little longer, then it’s a sacrifice they’ll all just have to make. Or, they can take their billions of dollars and invest in a few more umbrellas. This way no one has to stand too close to Trump and risk getting his melted body goo all over them if he gets wet and they get to stay dry as well. It’s a win-win!

Trump Thinks Blood Is Gross

Apparently back in the day when Trump was just some doof on television sometimes, a man fell off a stage a Mar-a-Lago during an event. The guy hit his head, so there was understandably a lot of blood. And What did Trump do? Our brave president told Howard Stern that he called the scene disgusting “… and I turned away … I didn’t want to touch him.” He went on to say that no one really liked this guy, so that makes it okay that he did nothing to help him. In true Trump fashion, he was more concerned with the marble floors that were covered in blood. The man ended up being okay, but this is quite the strange story coming from someone who just recently claimed he would have run into the Parkland school during the shooting to stop the gunman. We think not.

Trump Gets Purple Heart The Easy Way

Likely to have you enraged rather than in a fit of giggles, Trump who is also known as a “draft dodger” actually had the nerve to accept the Purple Heart from an actual veteran. For some reason, this man felt that the presidential candidate deserved to own his Purple Heart, which represents the bravery of those injured or killed in a war. As the man walks on stage with a cane, it’s safe to assume he was injured in the military and that the medal belongs to him. Perhaps this man wasn’t aware at the time that Trump had literally done everything possible to avoid the draft, from using in-school deferment to bone spur related medical excuses that ultimately disqualified him. Who could blame him? No one wants to risk their life by going to war, especially when they aren’t given a choice. The media probably wouldn’t have even cared that the president was a draft dodger if he hadn’t given McCain so much crap about being labeled a war hero after he was captured many moons ago, but once again Trump can’t manage to keep his damn mouth shut. Even when he presented with this Purple Heart that he doesn’t deserve his mouth doesn’t stop and he says, “I always wanted to get the Purple Heart. This was much easier.” Talk about a slap in the face.

Trump Fears The Media

Trump fears anyone who speaks out against him, and as a large majority of journalists are creative and open-minded folks, it’s no surprise that there will be anti-Trump articles that surface every now and again. His only defense is to mock the media and call the stories he doesn’t agree with “fake news.” While Trump might be trying everything he can to change it, fortunately, the First Amendment still stands and journalists can dig up as much dirt on this guy as they’d like, without the fear of being censored. This is just one of the many videos where Trump mocks journalists, calling them liars and stating that the camera wouldn’t focus on anything but him unless there was a protester. Ummm, why would they focus on the crowd when everyone watching wants to hear what Trump has to say? He’s known for throwing reporters out of press rooms, walking away during interviews, and not making any effort to play nice with the media, who isn’t always out to get him like he seems to think.

Besides, we in the media aren’t so bad! Without us, you wouldn’t be able to check out Trump’s not-so-brave moments while you’re likely attempting to make yourself look busy at work.

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Rose Burke

Freelance writer and art enthusiast, Rose Burke, often writes humorous essays inspired by awkward dating experiences and life’s cruel sense of humor. When she's not doing that, she's typically writing entertainment articles on women's issues, politics, feminism, and other trending topics her readers love. Her work has been published in The Southampton Review, The Conium Review, The Richest, The Independent, CINEMABLEND, and more. Author of the popular feminist blog series "Writings of the Satirical Feminista," Rose is currently focusing on a collection of humorous personal essays while she travels the world.


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