Have you heard? The Bible is Trump’s favorite book! He has even said it’s better than anything he has ever written, which is quite the statement coming from a man with an ego larger than the table at The Last Supper. The president admires The Bible so much that he recently announced that he’s all for pushing Bible studies on public school students. It would seem that if Trump gets his way, Jewish, Muslim, and atheist students will either be forced to sit through a class that doesn’t adhere to their beliefs or choose to go to private school. Or maybe we can just all send the kids to religious classes after school and leave the Godly education to the professionals. Here’s a look at some of the other subjects Trump will likely be pushing into the public school curriculum.
Flat Earth Studies
This class will show evidence that the Earth is actually flat rather than a sphere, despite arguments that prove the earth is round – including satellite photos and NASA claims. Lessons will include taking walks outside across flat land, starring up at the flat clouds, and boat trips toward the end of the Earth. The class will also cover conspiracy theories throughout history that led to the belief that the world was ever round in the first place.
Climate Change Hoax Studies
We all know that climate change is a hoax, but this class will cover the evidence that proves this. The curriculum includes readings from Trump’s Twitter feed, pinpointing areas throughout the United States that still receive snow, and mocking scientists. Students can expect field trips to locals zoos to show that animals are not going extinct as well as trips to frozen ponds to collect data proving global warming isn’t real. Hope you don’t fall through!
History Of Fake News
Fake news has been a long-standing issue throughout American history. The curriculum will cover everything from who really discovered America and how Native Americans were never harmed in the process to the Russian investigation and how it benefited the Democratic party. Lessons will teach students how to recognize fake news simply by looking at the news source. If it was written by a liberal, then it’s DEFINITELY fake news. If it’s on FOX News, then it must be true.
History Of The War On Men
Men have always been oppressed. This class covers all of the social injustices men have suffered from throughout history, specifically white men. It covers the limited rights men had throughout history that forced them to go to work every day, to vote for their political leaders, and even serve in politics if called upon. Lessons will also cover the recent witch hunt where men were victimized for paying attention to women and complimenting their figures in the #MeToo debacle. Those who succeed in the class are often invited to join the men’s movement better known as white supremacy.