Stimulus Checks Are Being Spent On Tigers, Dildos, Stripper Poles & Guns


Americans began getting the first batch of stimulus checks this week, and now many are hopping on social media to boast about the array of purchases.

Stimulus checks are financing a national epidemic of impulse buys. While a lot of folks are using the emergency money to pay bills for living expenses and necessities, others are putting the cash toward feral splurges. Among the more banal items, someone reportedly utilized the extra dinero on a blow-up dinosaur costume. “I actually have good use for it plus look at that price! I shoulda bought 2,” tweeted the dino suit owner.

“F *** it, I’m buying a stripper pole with my stimulus check. We have to invest in our future,” an aspiring exotic dancer tweeted. Some are jestingly planning to come together, so they can purchase a baby tiger using their economic impact payments. “Hear me out — Who wants to combine their stimulus checks with me, and we can buy a tiger,” posts one fan of “Tiger King.” It’s difficult to contend a canopied bed is ever integral, but one mother procured a princess-themed one for her child.

The same argument goes for a lady who used her funds to acquire a cutting-edge sex toy. One fancier “burning through” their stimulus money abetted in paintball equipment, while another crumbled and bought a costly pair of Yeezy shoes. One whole stimulus check at least, and potentially additional moola, went towards purchasing a Bird One e-scooter, which retails for more than $1,200. Others are contemplating buying personalized analysis from public figures. “Thinking about buying myself a cameo from Big Ed with this stimulus check,” posts a devotee of reality show star Ed Brown.


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