Reddit User YungSnuggie Instantly Wins Reddit In Epic r/NBA Rant


Rarely does a single post enthrall so many Reddit subreddits so thoroughly and wonderfully, but u/YungSnuggie’s assessment of “hoes” after NBA balla cash, and his subsequent side-shot at lady haters has something for everyone.

Bit of a problem with gold digging bitches? That’s covered. Can’t stand bitter neckbeards? YungSnuggie’s got you too. Surely no man can speak to both caucuses and be heard? Oh, it happened.

It all began with a post in r/NBA about “basic bitches” and the racket of becoming pregnant by a wealthy athlete — which is where r/bestof and several other subs latched on. The first version began:

“… these young bucks don’t know. You gotta remember a lot of these NBA players aren’t even old enough to drink when they get in the league; they’re still babies. They’ve been coddled their entire life, all through school and college, and now they get out in the real world with a pocket full of cash and every type of girl you could imagine trying to pull your sweatpants off. See, before you got that contract, while you were in school, you were just a prospect. You probably got a lot of attention from women, but your success wasn’t a guarantee. Once you start pulling in them bucks, the type of women you encounter drastically change. Straight up jaw droppers wherever you turn. That’s not an accident.”

We’re with you, YungSnuggie, continue:

“These kids don’t understand that once you’re in the real world, sex becomes a business move, for both parties. Even for us mortals, money is a big factor in your sex life. I don’t care who you are, you know that shit is important. (Protip from Uncle Snuggie: if you got money, just don’t fuck broke bitches. Just don’t, change your phone number if you have to. Move to the other side of the country to somewhere broke bitches cant afford to go. They will ruin everything I don’t care how pretty they are get a bitch with some capital. That’s real shit. Get a Kim Kardashian. She stupid and probably can’t read but she got money and won’t take that much from you in divorce proceedings because of that. Be with someone who can throw in the pot too.)”

He adds:

“The Dwight Howard’s of the world don’t understand that there’s a price tag hanging off his nutsack. Dwight Howard is easily shelling out 6 figures a year per baby mama. (The fuck you need 100k a year to raise a baby? I could raise my whole hood 6 times with that kind of paper all babies need is somethin to rattle and someone to wipe they ass) That’s more money than most of us will ever make in our lives, even those of us with professional and graduate degrees. 18 years, 18 years, she got one of yo kids, got you for 18 years.

“I think every citizen, NBA or not, should know how divorce/family laws work, especially if you ever fuck around and get paid. You find out how much Uncle Sam will take out of your pocket cause you wanted to fuck raw and it’ll turn you into a nun; keep your dick on a leash kid.”

Awesome advice, concluding:

“When you’re young and naive if you believe in shit like the purity of ‘love’ and all that other liberal hippie crap Disney shoves down your throat as a child you can fall victim to a big butt and a smile quite easily … That’s real shit[.]”

But the bolded edit is where it gets good, because as it happens, this was not a misogynistic rant at all — it was the sexual economy YungSnuggie was after. He adds:

“I see this post got crossposted to /r/bestof, but more disturbingly /r/theredpill, and let me tell you trenchcoat wearing neckbeards something before yall try to crown me the king of you dry dick mother fuckers. For all the colossal shitting I just did on hoes in this post, this is not in any way representative of the female population at large.”

[Stunned silence.] He adds:

“I’m simply speaking on a small, super super small, minority subculture. I would never imply or suggest that all women, not even a majority, are out here throwin the pussy like a boomerang hoping to catch some rich dude sperm. I still put ladies above everything. That’s still your mama, that’s still your sister, that’s still the mother of your children.”

And … and … and …

“This post is not meant to be critical of women; rather, its meant to be critical of money and the economy (created by dudes) that women are forced to live in. It’s not because women are manipulative, its because men are fucking retarded, I stated that from the jump. Cons come in all genders, if men could get a cozy 18 year stipend from fucking Hillary Clinton there would be a line of thirst wrapped around the white house. Even though I shits on these hoes, I still respect them like they my own family, because they are.”


Then this:

“I’m familiar with TRP, yall the most salty, confused, sexually depraved group of misogynistic no pussy gettin dudes I ever seen, that’s real. Ain’t no need to start a war on women cause you ugly and you ain’t got no money and you fell for the sweet smell of that vaginal lining. That’s on you dude; blaming the pussy for this is like blaming video games for school violence. At some point you took the stupidity into your own hands. That ain’t the wave yall[.]”

mic drop gif

You can read the entire glorious set of u/YungSnuggie‘s comments here, including his subsequent observation that “raw pussy has crumbled nations.” Indeed.

Kim LaCapria

Kim LaCapria is a social media enthusiast, long-time writer and beauty and lifestyle industry expert. She covers a wide range of social media topics, with a particular interest in style-related apps and services. When not working, Kim can be found on Facebook and Pinterest, skating, and sneaking off to Spa Castle.


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