Mom’s Amazon Review For Kleenex Gets Social Love, Is Horrible And Hilarious

amazon kleenex review

Every so often Amazon reviews catch the social web by storm — and this five-star review for Kleenex, of all things, is a perfect example.

Titled “A mother’s struggle” and written on December 8, the feedback by @JamesOtisThach is the kind to which parents of teens might not wish to admit they totally relate.

The review is for Kleenex Facial Tissue, White (Pack of 36) on Amazon, and the woman begins:

“I want to start this off by thanking Kleenex for selling these in 36-packs. I’ve put it on subscription, and if they want to start selling a 72-pack, sign me up. I have three reasons for needing this much Kleenex, and their names are Liam, Samuel and Hank.”

Her tale continues, explaining why a household might need 36 boxes of Kleenex:

“This is how it goes in this house. First the Kleenex disappears. Then the toilet paper. Then they go for fabrics. And you don’t want it to get there, unless you’re ready to invest in a five gallon drum of [Febreeze] … This used to be a good Christian home. But it’s not about moral judgment anymore. I’m way beyond that.”

Laughing yet? She laments:

“I’m in survival mode. If I don’t supply absorbent paper products, I’m going to find my dish towels hidden in the basement, stiff as aluminum. The other day, I almost cut my hand on a sock. I am sorry to speak so frankly, but with three teenage boys, a woman has got to be practical.”

Maybe you’ve been there, and buried it in the recesses of your mind:

“The funny part is, they think they’re being sneaky, with their 45 minute showers and sudden need for ‘privacy,’ as if I’m going to walk in on them journaling. They slink around the house like unfixed cats, while I try to announce my location at all times. No one needs to ask me to knock anymore. I knock on the walls. I practically wear a cow bell. I’m not looking to catch anyone by surprise, believe me. I’m just trying to get through this.”

She concludes:

“The other day my husband was watching me unload the groceries, and he asks me, all sweetness and light, ‘Honey, what’re you doing with all that Kleenex?’ … I about knocked him off his chair.”

Read the funny Amazon Kleenex review here.



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