Men in Panda Suits Commit Armed Robbery

Pandas are notoriously lazy creatures. When prey became scarce in their natural habitat, they switched to eating bamboo out of pure convenience. Their dwindling numbers are due to human interference, but the fact that they’re literally too lazy to have sex certainly doesn’t help.

They’ve also been associated with innocence and cuteness for a very long time. In any case, they’re hardly the animal you’d use if you want to strike fear in the heart of someone. But I guess these two thieves from Lincolnshire, England had a couple of panda onesies just lying around and decided, “You know what, why not?”

Police say two men robbed a Lincolnshire news stand while wearing giant panda costumes. It wasn’t quite as silly as it seems, as one of them produced a hand gun.

The Guardian reports:

“Two men dressed in panda onesies have carried out an armed robbery on a newsagent. Lincolnshire police said one of the men who robbed the shop in Louth on Sunday evening was armed with what appeared to be a handgun. Officers said the pair forced a female member of staff to hand over cash from the safe then left the scene on foot at about 7.30pm. The member of staff was shaken but unhurt. Police are asking people living nearby to check their bins for discarded clothing.”

So far, nobody has been implicated in the robbery. Let’s just hope these guys don’t pull this stunt again. There’s nothing more terrifying than serial panda thieves. Oh wait, that’s right—the panda is a ridiculous animal and their costume choice was stupid. Stick to balaclavas guys, seriously.

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Timothy Bertrand
Writer and journalist living in the Houston, Texas area. Follow me for breaking news, editorials, pictures of cats doing human activities, and other such content from around the web.


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