Meet Tim Patch, best known to his admirers as Pricasso. He has charmed art afficionados, sex positivity advocates, and celebrities alike with his performance art in his oversized pink top hat and bowtie as he paints portraits and other masterpieces on the spot with his penis, testes, and butt. He has painted the likenesses of politicians, Hollywood stars, adult entertainers, and iconic figures such as Michael Jackson, Pink, and Nelson Mandela — all with the help of his wonderful willy.
His painterly peter has seen a lot of artistic action not just in sexpos all over the world, but he and his talent have been hired for parties, showers, and other celebrations. “For the same cost of a stripper”, so he writes on his website, he will gladly paint a portrait for you and each of your guests, plus give you a DVD of the painting process for authenticity. Is your event located halfway ’round the world? No worries; just furnish him with a plane ticket, and he’ll be there, full of vim and vigor to paint you a masterpiece you will never forget.
His works of art are dearly sought by admirers and collectors alike. Astute buyers are encouraged to not only purchase the painting, but the video of the artistic process as well; the video serves as a mark of authenticity, and his art will be limited in number due to the equipment used. This will mean the paintings will appreciate in value, and the money will help Pricasso continue making his masterpieces. Just remember — his anaconda don’t want none unless you got funds, hun.
Pricasso and his little soldier work hard, and though his gold member may indeed be the star of the show, it certainly needs special TLC at the end of every event. “I use really smooth paper and I make my own paints,” he says. “But it does last about four days before I need about two weeks off… You need to re-grow the skin, basically.”
So hats off to you, Pricasso! May you always rise to the occasion, enjoy a stiff drink or two, and be showered with standing ovations wherever you go.
Watch Pricasso at work painting three candidates for the 2010 elections. (NSFW for painter’s butt in action, too):