French People Suddenly Very Upset About Being French
It’s been a tough week in France, and we can’t overstate it. Folks in the land of brie and striped shirts are literally rioting through...
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Trump Loves Kids So Much That Border Guards Fire Tear Gas at Them
Anyone who knows Trump knows how much he loves children. Apart from the comfort he naturally feels at being surrounded by humans of similar intellect,...
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Insight Lands on Mars, Finds Giant Sign Pointing to Trump’s Origins
The tension in NASA mission control was thick in the air, an over-wound clock ticking away in each of the engineers who had dedicated the...
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President Trump Nears Personal Goal of Being the Herbert Hoover of Climate Change
If you recall much of your high school history class, President Herbert Hoover may tickle your memory slightly. He is often decried as one of...
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Ohio Will Only Permit Abortions for Non-Pregnant Women, So There
Ohio has never been a fan of abortion. The state has a long history of opposing abortion laws, so that more babies no one wants...
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U.S. Senator Fanfic Dreamily Imagines NRA-Sponsored Civil War
Senator Mike Lee of Utah spoke before a collection of prominent national lawyers and judges, and he eagerly preached from his batshit pulpit about the...
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Florida Election Sets Dangerous Precedent of Counting All Votes
Broward County is the Flordia of Flordia. And when it comes to elections, they’ve got everyone beat. If you remember as far back as the...
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Executive Time Is Just A Euphemism for Masturbation and Naps
You know how Donald Trump is. Constantly pursued by a Rigged Witch Hunt which we are supposed to believe will eventually prove his innocent, Donald...
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Trump Is Right on Climate Change: The Earth Will Cool Down
We have to wonder how far Trump has come on the issue of climate change. Or maybe we don’t, because the answer is obvious: nowhere...
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Thanks To House Races, Trump Will Finally Have An Excuse for Getting Nothing Done
Despite a total lock on all three branches of the United States government, Trump has been curiously unproductive. Some of his major goals, like deconstructing...
