Articles written by Alex Fox

French People Suddenly Very Upset About Being French

It’s been a tough week in France, and we can’t overstate it. Folks in the land of brie and striped shirts are literally rioting through the city, which is the kind of thing you only see on the television news at the beginning of an apocalypse film. It turns out that the French are suddenly […]

Trump Loves Kids So Much That Border Guards Fire Tear Gas at Them

Anyone who knows Trump knows how much he loves children. Apart from the comfort he naturally feels at being surrounded by humans of similar intellect, Trump most vehemently enjoys the company of people that he can feel superior to. And if there’s anyone Trump is guaranteed to feel superior to, it is certainly a child. […]

Insight Lands on Mars, Finds Giant Sign Pointing to Trump’s Origins

The tension in NASA mission control was thick in the air, an over-wound clock ticking away in each of the engineers who had dedicated the last five years of their lives to this launch. The room represented some of the smartest people on the planet, and certainly some of the best minds in space exploration. […]

President Trump Nears Personal Goal of Being the Herbert Hoover of Climate Change

If you recall much of your high school history class, President Herbert Hoover may tickle your memory slightly. He is often decried as one of the worse presidents. He took office on the precipice of the Great Depression and proceeded to do almost nothing useful. While it’s debated how much Hoover could have lessened the […]

Ohio Will Only Permit Abortions for Non-Pregnant Women, So There

Ohio has never been a fan of abortion. The state has a long history of opposing abortion laws, so that more babies no one wants may be born unto mothers uninterested in mothering them. That’s exactly what we need in this world, after all. Now, Ohio is trying to ban abortions after six weeks of […]

U.S. Senator Fanfic Dreamily Imagines NRA-Sponsored Civil War

Senator Mike Lee of Utah spoke before a collection of prominent national lawyers and judges, and he eagerly preached from his batshit pulpit about the impending civil war our country is apparently facing. See, as the herald of doom, he’s in charge of figuring that out. You can see the whole deal below, if you’re the […]

Florida Election Sets Dangerous Precedent of Counting All Votes

Broward County is the Flordia of Flordia. And when it comes to elections, they’ve got everyone beat. If you remember as far back as the year 2000, when the presidency was stolen from Al Gore by the Supreme Court decided by a Flordia recount largely centering on Broward County. They’ve almost always been the last Flordia […]