Articles written by Alex Fox

5 Historical Examples That Prove Politics Has Always Been a Bitchy Business

It might seem like the political tapestry of the modern United States is the grimmest it has ever been. And while we do live in the interesting times of the Chinese curse, we also must maintain an historical perspective. Politics has been a dirty business since day one, with examples stretching back to the founding […]

If We Didn’t Already Have Libraries, the GOP Would Hate the Idea

The Republican Party at the time of it’s founding surely valued an education. When Abraham God Damn Lincoln founded the party, stovepipe on his head and a song in his heart, he surely envisioned a party founded on the basis of individual liberty tempered by individual responsibility. We can be certain, as Obama noted recently, […]

Turns Out That Even Republicans Like Healthcare, ACA

You might think that health care is for lameo losers like Democrats and the elderly, but it turns out that even hale and hearty Republicans like the idea of not dropping dead from preventable illnesses! At least, it certainly seems that way. Keep your black president out of my healthcare Our nation has undergone an […]

California Takes a Page from Chris Rock, Tries “Bullet Control”

You remember the Chris Rock bit about bullet control? That is more or less what California is going to try for gun control.   California, a state that has more legislation than trees have leaves. The goal, as always, is for fewer folks to shoot at each other. It turns out just holding the gun […]

Good Thing Serena Didn’t Kneel During the National Anthem

Turns out that sports stars are allowed to throw hissy fits, but we draw the line at using a massive stage to publicize and protest social problems endemic to modern society. I guess it’s a good thing Serena didn’t try to knell during the national anthem. Not that a sport as full of its own […]

Nike Stock Plunges As Rednecks Refuse To Buy One Pair of Nike Airs Each Decade

Colin Kaepernick’s recent establishment as the newest Nike mascot was bound to ruffle some feathers. He is a highly skilled athlete, sure, but he is better known as the face of the still-ongoing and somehow-controversial protest among NFL players against the many grisly killings of young black men by white police officers who rarely face […]

U.S. Embassy Workers in Cuba Are Literally Being Microwaved to Death

Like your still-cold-yet-somehow-molten Hot Pocket, U.S. Embassy workers are being tortured with microwaves. Sadly, no one stealthily constructed a giant Kenmore around the U.S. Embassy. Rather, the workers are being blasted with microwave radiation from… well, we’re not totally sure where it’s coming from, actually. It’s apparently a little difficult to pinpoint the source of the microwaves. […]

John McCain Bitch Slaps Trump From Beyond the Grave

No matter how you feel about John McCain politically or personally, it cannot be said that he did not earn his nickname of “Maverick” while serving in Congress. Throughout his tenure as a senator, McCain gleefully opposed his party just as often as he went with them. He was a regular in voting against legislation […]