Strip naked, and other tips to fend off a polar bear attack


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Stay clear of a polar bear! Though, should you run into one, there are 3 tactics you can do to safeguard yourself.

In the Svalbard Islands, a Dutchman, 38, was recently killed by a polar bear. Now, a lot of us wouldn’t think of camping in Svalbard, although in the past five years the area has endured a surge in “arctic tourism” as folks scramble to see the ice caps and bears before they vanish forever. Many polar bear tours are outfitted with mobile screening units that resemble elongated tanks, however, there are still many spots where locals and tourists can — and do — inadvertently come face-to-face with bears that may appear cuddlesome — but are lethal.

So, how do you keep a bear from fatally mauling you? Get naked! Face it, there’s no way you can elude a polar bear on foot. However, they are conveniently distractible. Sarah Woodall, a Visit South Greenland tourism destination manager, said: “Polar bears are very curious.” Thus, if you find yourself face-to-face with one, slowly back away while shedding off your garments one item at a time. The beasts are incredibly curious so they should halt, sniff, and maybe play with the apparel as they come by it, leaving you free to sprint somewhere buck naked! Well, until it catches up with you, naturally. Or you perish from the weather elements. Regardless — what a rush!

Secondly, always travel with someone who has a gun or carry a firearm yourself when in bear land. While nobody desires to slay a polar bear, if you want to save your own life you might have to. Dire and sick bears are the ones that oftentimes come near humans. The third thing you can do is carry bear spray. According to various Air Greenland pilots, the spray does the job; but, when you spray you have to be upwind and close, otherwise “it may not go so well.”

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Aaron Granger

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