Village Terrorized By ‘Gay’ Baboon Who Recently Sodomized 5 Men

A village in Africa lives in sheer dread of a homophile baboon whose sexual orientation is a huge cause of concern for the men who reside in it. The large male baboon allegedly likes to paw and hump human males.

This particular baboon, in the past week, has ambushed more than six men. The baboon pins down townspeople who choose to resist the fierce animal. One victim of the primate, claimed, ““I thought it wanted to kill me, but realized it was after my bum.”

Yesterday, five men from the African village were admitted to the hospital after they expressed that they were suffering intense anal pain. The baboon, dubbed as Somizi, typically travels alone. Male children in the village are now donning preventive dresses until the rapist baboon has been taken care of.

“The baboon might be an outcast, and chased away from its troop. That is why it is travelling alone; but as to the reason it’s attacking only males, it beats me. I have never seen that behavior in my 20 years in this field,” Lizzie McKenzie was quoted as saying.

Baboons and humans are closely related. The two have a 94 percent genetic similarity, accordant to the Amboseli Baboon Research Project. Baboons can even talk, kind of. They possess at least 10 various vocalizations they use to communicate. Our relationship with baboons is a longstanding one. Fossil evidence implicates that baboons and humans have coexisted in close propinquity for millions of years.

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