Make Yourself Sick For Just $80! Snotty Tissues Being Sold By Company


snotty

A Danish company contends you can build up your immune system by subjecting yourself to snotty tissues – and so, they’re selling them.

via Tenor

A new start up is providing germy tissues for bounty prices. Vaev Tissue, is not your ordinary tissue company. Rather than soothing, soft tissues, Vaev extends their customers tissues that are pre-used.

The establishment based in Los Angeles alleges that exposing yourself to their snotty-nosed tissues will make you sick, which they deem a feature and not a drawback. Every tissue sold by Vaev has been dosed with a “hydrolayer” of human sneeze retrieved from real sick people.

“We have a rotation of people who get sick for the production of this product,” Vaev founder Oliver Niessen informed reporters. “The rotation guarantees that we always have at least one person sick/available to help make more. That is how the process works.”

The company too indicates you can ‘plan when to get sick’ utilzing Vaev tissues. In an additional outlandish claim on their site, the company even states their tissues are “safer than needles or pills.”

“I mean, we customize everything in our lives and we have everything the way we want it, so why not approach sickness that way as well?” said Niessen.

Physicians interviewed about the vile trend say Vaev’s claims are utter hogwash. One, an infectious disease specialist from Northeast Ohio Medical University, dubbed Vaev “bizarre” and expressed it seems “like a total waste of money.” Concerns haven’t ceased the company’s clients however, as it’s reported that Vaev has been sold out for weeks after securing over 1,000 orders.

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Aaron Granger

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