Remember in high school when you were required to vote your classmates into ludicrous categories like Most Likely To Succeed and Best Dressed, raising their self esteems to a level that prevented them from ever achieving anything substantial in life? Well, the Trumps are no different from us regular folk and experienced the same high school yearbook superlatives their senior year. Since we know that no one in that family was voted Best Looking or Most Likely To Become President, perhaps it’s time we determine which superlatives they actually deserve, like Most Likely To Spend Time In Prison.
Donald Trump Jr.
In high school, Donald Trump Jr. was likely voted Best Mushroom Cut or Most Likely To Live Off His Father’s Accomplishments but these days the only superlative he’ll earn himself involves an orange jumpsuit and a new roommate. Even though the president’s firstborn is convinced his little meeting with the Russians should be dismissed since they weren’t able to provide any useful dirt on Hillary, he has to know that it’s not going to just disappear. Yet, like his father, Donald Trump Jr. is also a moron.
Even though his treasonous plan failed, in the eyes of the law, he still tried to do it. If Donny Jr. was receiving superlative votes right now, you bet your ass he’d win Most Likely To Spend Time In Prison. Daddy’s money isn’t going to get you out of this one dollface!
As one of her father’s faithful advisors, Ivanka could be looking at collusion charges as well. She was present for several significant moments that are currently under investigation, including the infamous meeting with Russain nationals who claimed to have dirt on Hillary. Coincidentally, she also began plans for a Trump Tower Moscow with Don Jr. and Trump’s former personal attorney Michael Cohen around the same time. That’s not the worst of it though. Ivanka has also been accused of inflating room rates at the Trump International Hotel in Washington D.C. where the 2017 Inauguration Committee stayed, which would obviously be a YUUGGE conflict of interest.
Then, of course, there’s the whole issue with her using her personal email account to conduct official business, the same argument Trump’s campaign made against Hillary. This isn’t Ivanka’s first run-in with the law either. According to Elite Daily, both her and older brother Don Jr. were looking at felony fraud charges back in 2012. They were accused of misleading prospective buyers of units in the Trump SoHo hotel and condo building by exaggerating sales figures. The two were able to use daddy’s money to weasel their way out of this one. Charges were dropped after a donation from the Trump Organization was made to the Manhattan District Attorney’s office. Ivanka may have avoided the orange jumpsuit the first time around, but she might not be so lucky this time. The only thing that might save her is if she throws her husband under the bus and testifies against him in court.
If Trump is anything like he is today back in high school, there’s no doubt he would have earned himself the superlative Most Likely To Spend Time In Prison. The thing that no one could have guessed though is the fact that he would get his children sucked into his shady business, leading to them facing time behind bars as well. Hopefully little Barron learns from this and makes the decision to stay out of the family business in the future.