The Scariest Top Responses to Donald Trump’s Tweets


When he says the media is out to get him, Donald Trump is right.

Whew, that was hard to say. Nonetheless, it’s absolutely correct, and to ignore the evidence that supports it would make us, you know, the kind of alternative-fact-spewing shit heel that currently occupies the White House. And Trump isn’t the first conservative politician to find themselves in the media’s crosshairs.

It’s no wonder, then, that a majority of Americans are unable to name an objective news source. In 1984, 58 percent of Americans thought the news was careful about separating fact from opinion. In 2018, that metric has dropped to 32 percent.

Let’s be honest, that one-third of Americans must have their heads shoved seriously up their asses (or they believe that the spin really does stop at Fox News). So, yes, the media really is out to get Donald Trump and the people who follow him.

Every time Donald Trump tweets, legions of people come out of the woodwork to make him look like a fool. A lot of them end up just looking like self-righteous assholes:

Even more just end up confusing:

I mean, is that guy mocking the president? Supporting him? Offering subtle, yet incisive commentary on the decline of American manufacturing? Probably that last one.

For every liberal nerd who jumps online to attack the President personally, however, there’s a Trump-loving ‘Murrican who’s ready and waiting to defend their fella. Here, for your consideration, are some of the most terrifying conservative responses to Donald Trump tweets.

Uncovering GOP Conspiracies

The best part about Trump’s folks is that they’re not loyal to anyone … except for Trump.

The Border Is Unsecure!

By this token, old NurseMike also loves literally 75 percent ( of the United States’ elected officials.

Hill-Dog Is Such a Lesbernim

Not sure which is more fun, here. The fact that Trump is calling out someone else’s sexism or the fact that his follower responds with a MASSIVE dose of sexism.

The Pulitzer-Prize-Winning Clown

You only thought Trump behaved like an oaf during the debates. In fact, he was just waging war against political correctness. Just to clarify, in a Republican’s mind, “political correctness” is defined as “not being able to say a whole bunch of bigoted shit with no repercussions.”

No Transgenders in the Army!

Why would we want transgender folks in the army when we’ve got G.I. Dough, here.

Best. POTUS. Ever

The .gif is from Workaholics, so I don’t think he’s supposed to be throwing up a Nazi salute, but then again, context is everything.

‘Fake News Infographics’

There is definitely a Trump fan out there who believes this picture is not satire … probably because they think a satire is a half-man-half-goat creature from Greek mythology.

The Wall? That’s Cost Effective

All we have to do is cut off all support for disenfranchised people ( who are just looking for a better life. It’s a cinch!

Okay, This One Is Cheating

I went two down, but how can you ignore that mash up?

A Crime Against the White Man

I know this guy thinks he’s dropping truth bombs, and as much as I’d love to take the word of a man who dresses like a jingoistic Cat in the Hat, he really does just come off as a racist twerp.

‘Tapp’ Those Phones

Well, if the options are either “Bad (or sick)” then we probably should lock the guy up.

Here’s a Blast From the Past

Remember when the official Trump cheering section dared speak out against him? It still didn’t fool Trump supporters.

How Much Lady-Bashing Can We Accomplish in Just Two Tweets?

An assload, as it happens.

‘I Am The Storm’

I can’t even with this one.

The GOP’s Noble Quest to Indict a Retired Senior Citizen

She’s the most threatening grandma on planet Earth!

If You Cruz, You Lose

Sure, the whole “he wasn’t born here” argument is a rehash, but it’s several degrees funnier when aimed at Ted Cruz and paired with some shittily edited photo. Plus, everyone knows porn stars hate Ted Cruz:

No American-Controlled Puppets Here

Only Kremlin-controlled puppets in this White House.

Trump’s Victory Lap

A picture really is worth 1,000 words.

Okay, Now That We’ve Had Our Fun

Shock: the President is wildly adored by a bunch of crackpots. Crackpots who really like stars.

In the midst of the political bias assailing the United States, it’s easy to forget that a vast majority of the Republican Party are thoughtful people with deeply held convictions. If you met an average Republican on the street, you likely wouldn’t even realize it until the subject of politics came up.

Their only flaw is they’ve been lulled into the belief that their Party is still under control, that the GOP hasn’t been co-opted by an orange-tinted blowhard whose destined to leave behind a legacy of divisiveness and legislative impotence.

Now, that said, the GOP thinks the exact same thing about the Democrats, only Hillary Clinton is the Trump. (They actually have a solid case.)

So, as much fun as we make of the more enthusiastic members of the GOP, remember the there are literally millions of people out there who see these tweets and feel as though it’s the only source of information they can genuinely trust.

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