A long time ago, someone decided to domesticate the narcissistic hellspawn creatures we know only today as… cats. It might have been a big mistake for humanity since cats are constantly plotting the end of human beings, but who could resist those marble eyes and furry meows? Still, proof exists that cats are up to no good and one of them even threatened their owner with demonic possession.
Such a harrowing tale of feline horror existed recently in Japan when one cat-lover (a.k.a. cat slave) was out enjoying some bonding time with his cats. One of his cats, named Chobimaru (aww), with black and white fur, suddenly started speaking in a strange meow pattern in what can only be assumed as a demonic oration or speaking in tongues. The owner even got it on video, nightmare fuel warning:
— LLR伊藤 (@llritotomohiro) November 11, 2018
No doubt about it, Chobimaru is uttering the precursor words to set up its owner for a demonic possession. The owner’s tweet says “Chobimaru is talking again…Scary…” meaning the cat probably does it regularly. Goodness knows what Chobimaru does at 3 a.m. We have all seen this before being done in one too many exorcism films. Most notable is this one:
Apparently, people of science on the internet suggested that Chobimaru’s behavior indicated that she was going to barf, meaning it could have been a pre-vomiting ritual. Oh, but we have all seen that before as well, thanks to Linda Blair…
Thankfully, Japanese twitter found a way to make Chobimaru’s pre- demonic possession ritual a lot less sinister and even enjoyable:
— 左手@アルバム出しました。 (@lefthand_for_it) November 13, 2018
So far, it seems the owner is still alive and well, no need for a priest visitation just yet.