Toot, Toot! Buy Jeans Now That Stops Everyone From Smelling Your Farts


farts

Let’s keep it a buck – we’ve all been in a position where we’re stuck, can’t move (for some reason, or another), there’s multiple people around and unexpectedly you have to fart.

While it’s sure as shooting impolite to merely let one rip, like the lady below, when restroom-less the only option is to cross your fingers and hope the gas mutely expels (and doesn’t smell too bad).

farts
Eww, get this woman a pair of Shreddies jeans like, now!; Photo: YouTube

But, since we’d wish it didn’t smell at all, one fashion company has answered our prayers for a fart-less society.

Seeing it’s downright unhealthy not to break wind at all – we flatus up to 14 times a day – thereby, Shreddies came up with the next greatest thing – flatulence filtering jeans.

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We said flatulence jeans, not the ‘other’ thing – sorry; Photo: Alloy

From the same marque that brought you the flatulence filtering pajamas and underwear, these garments assist you in staying baby wipe fresh as they “feature an activated carbon back panel that absorbs all flatulence odors,” accordant to its website.

“Due to its highly porous nature, the odor vapors become trapped and neutralized by the cloth, which is then reactivated by simply washing the garment.”

However, if you desire to snag these distinct pair of pants, you’ll have to broadly ajar your wallet (or purse), because they’ll set you back roughly $170.

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Photo: Buzzfeed; Flatulence jeans – Tested, Approved ✓

“In many cases, simply not having to worry about flatulence can help improve a person’s condition,” the website extends. “Anxiety can create chemical changes in your body [and] can affect your digestive system, exacerbating a person’s condition.”

Shreddies recommends you pair their underwear with these new slacks as a way to form “a double layer of protection” and “increased confidence.”

At present, the jeans come only in a dark wash color, yet range from sizes 28 to 40 for men and 4 to 16 inch waists for women. Both jean lengths come in short, medium and tall.

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Aaron Granger

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