Donald Trump thinks our country needs a space force, ya know, to fight off all of those aliens that have been flying around in our atmosphere lately. This is obviously a priority over using that money for things that are more dire, like giving veterans who are currently living on the streets proper healthcare and a place to live. But our veterans have never taken precedence in this country, so why not spend billions on something that the president can’t even properly explain? At least we have these memes to explain what the new space force is to us!
Where’s Woody when you need him to bring Trump Lightyear back to reality? Trump might think he’s building some kind of space force, but it’s likely something White House officials have decided to keep him busy with while they ride out the rest of his term. To insanity and beyond!
Trump’s Laser Beams
He’s certainly not a doctor, but Trump is evil. His space force proposal is full of big red buttons that he’ll be able to play with, all bigger than any button Kim Jong-Un has of course. Trump will be told that those buttons control some huge laser beams that have been thrown in orbit around space, but they actually don’t do anything. It’s all a ploy to keep him away from that other red button that we all fear he might press one of these days.
Yes, these are the actual blueprints for Trump’s rocket ship. Current working title: Trump Space Force One. It needs to be YUUGE to compensate for the tiny rocket between his legs as well as to prove to his buddy Putin that he can convince the American government to do just about anything. Obviously, as the captain of this ship, Trump will be required to walk around dressed as Darth Vader, and the secret service will have to dress like stormtroopers. (Yes, I had to Google what those were called.)
What They Think The Space Force Will Be
The space force is going to be all about fighting aliens right? Meeting those tiny green bulb-headed monsters face to face? Perhaps. Or, it’ll be more like the next meme.
What It Will Actually Be Like
It’ll be the worst Star Wars convention you’ve ever been to. Like Comic Con with weeks of training just to sit around some sort of retired army base that has been deemed the Space Force Base until Trump is out of office. Then come 2020, when the next president is elected, the Space Force will be trashed, and you’ll find yourself automatically recruited into the Air Force or Army. Those with toy lightsabers at home need not apply.
Expectations vs. Reality
Okay, so maybe becoming a member of the United States Space Force won’t be like Comic Con. But it sure as hell won’t be like Mars Attacks either. This meme likely depicts a more accurate account of what you could expect should this proposal come through. Just a ton of money being wasted on more fancy equipment for people to stare at all day. Very exciting.
What Everyone Thinks The Space Force Is For
Trump might make us think this space force proposal is all about fighting space crime, but there’s definitely more to it. Does he have plans to take over space? Technically no one owns it right? So, maybe he wants to plant America’s flag there and create a space army to ensure other countries can’t claim all that vast air. Or, maybe it’s his escape plan. Check out the next meme for my fabulous explanation.
What Space Force Is Really For
Perhaps Trump and Putin are planning their escape. Setting the groundwork as they say. Maybe the fact that Trump doesn’t support climate change isn’t due to the fact that he’s a moron, but because he has insider information that proves it’s all too late. We’ve screwed up the planet and there’s just no going back. If this is the case, then it would make sense that Trump doesn’t want to waste money on trying to save a dying planet. Instead, he’s putting that money into a space force where entire cities will be built on space stations and ships. Think Star Wars without the Wookiees. Or with the Wookiees, who knows what’s really out there! Trump just might be working with Russia to build these cities so that his children and grandchildren can escape the Earth once it starts going downhill.
Trump Is A Spender
If Trump doesn’t have some kind of plan to build cities in space, then he’s just a jerk who likes to waste money. A space force is so far from what our country is in need of right now, that spending this money would just be downright irresponsible. At least our children will be able to say they live in the country that owns space though. Because other than that, what exactly is the point of all this?
How Republicans Feel
Republicans will literally defend anything Trump does or says at this point. However, they have managed to provide several reasons for backing the president’s space force idea. One of the most common reasons they have given for supporting this is that Obama never did it, and we all know how much Trump and his fan club love to one-up the former president. It’s okay though. We all know logic isn’t their strong suit.
Trump Fans Against Space ISIS
Haven’t you heard? ISIS has developed their terrorist acts so that they can now reach outer space! The space force is a win-win for Republicans. They’ll get to say their president was able to accomplish something Obama didn’t AND they’ll be able to fight off those ISIS bastards that they fear so much. Ya know, this space force idea might not be such a bad idea. Let’s have all of Trump’s supporters sign up first, and they can let us all know how it goes for them.
In fact, if you’re a Trump supporter, then you should put all of your savings into this program immediately! Simply follow this link and wait for your invitation to space in the mail!