Trumpisms We Can’t Wait To Never Hear Again


trumpisms

With Trump in office for just over a year, most of us are already sick of the way he talks. Aside from the fact that he’s an absolute numbskull and most of what he says is utter nonsense, he tends to repeat the same words over and over as his vocabulary knowledge is presumably quite limited. His Trumpisms are so irritating that most American citizens, whether they support the man or not, can’t stand it when he uses them Only two and a half years left, right? Here are the Trumpisms we can’t wait to never hear again.

Loser

Trumpisms

/ˈlo͞ozər/

noun

  1. A childish insult often used by adolescents or adults who wear diapers. “Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it!”

According to Trump, nearly everyone in the world is a loser. If he had it his way, he’d probably have people branded with the term based on his own personal opinion just so he could keep track of them all. The media is full of losers. Most journalists are losers. Michael Wolff and Rosie O’Donnell are total losers. Hillary Clinton is also a loser as well as John McCain, Tim O’Brien, anyone who watches CNN, oh and of course, terrorists.

Crooked Hillary

Trumpisms

/ˈkro͝okəd ˈhɪ.lə.ɹi/

noun

  1. An overused and undeserved name given to former First Lady and 2016 presidential nominee Hillary Clinton. “Crooked Hillary Clinton blames everybody (and every thing) but herself for her election loss. She lost the debates and lost her direction!”

We get it. Hillary Clinton deleted a bunch of emails, and she’s crooked Hillary. Haha, that’s a good one. Trump just loves to remind us though and uses this Trumpism far too often for someone who has already won the election. Perhaps he hasn’t realized yet that the debate is over and he wakes up in the White House each morning hoping it was all a dream. Or rather, a nightmare. Otherwise, he’s seriously obsessed with this woman.

Believe Me

Trumpisms

/bəˈlēv mē/

adverb

  1. A phrase people use after telling a lie. “I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”

Trump’s use of this phrase almost seems like he’s trying to hypnotize us. He tells us a bunch of lies and bullshit, but as long as he finishes his statement with “believe me” then he knows he’ll get a round of applause. That’s because the monkies in the audience only hear this affirmation and seem to tune out the stuff before and after it about him bringing death and destruction to our country. Trump has turned half of the country deaf.

Fake News

Trumpisms

/ˌfeɪk ˈnjuːz/

noun

  1. A term used to describe any media outlet or publication that you want to publically discredit so that others become confused about who they can trust. “Don’t let the FAKE NEWS tell you that there is big infighting in the Trump Admin. We are getting along great, and getting major things done!”

It’s all fake news according to Trump, so what’s actually true? Well, we can assume it’s all true and that our dear president simply uses this to describe news stories he doesn’t want leaked or media outlets who aren’t exactly his biggest fan. He’s great at manipulating the public and his supporters just eat it all up. They’re like puppets, and the Don is in control of their strings unless of course, all these supporters are fake news as well.

Winning

Trumpisms

/ˈwiniNG/

adjective

  1. A word coined by Charlie Sheen used to describe a success or victory, often when referring to one’s life. Several degrees of the word are winning big, winning so big, winning bigly, winning so much, and winning huge. “We’re going to win so much, you’re going to be so sick and tired of winning, you’re going to come to me and go ‘Please, please, we can’t win anymore.'”

With the Don, everything is about winning and losing. In his small, pebble-sized brain if he’s not winning at everything, then he’s losing, which ultimately makes him a loser. He probably has nightmares about it every night, wondering when his supporters turn on him and realize that he’s actually the hater and the loser. As long as he keeps mentioning winning though Trump’s supporters will follow him anywhere. Even into the pits of hell where they all belong.

MAGA

Trumpisms

/ˈmɑːɡə/.

noun

  1. A slogan that stands for Make America Great Again and is known for its ulterior motive of making America white again, making America dumb again, and making America hated even more than we already were. “Together, We will make America strong again. We will make wealthy again. We will make America proud again. We will make America safe again. And yes, together, we will make America great again.”

Like any good puppet, Trump supporters run around yelling about MAGA more than the Christians yell outside of Planned Parenthood. They want people to know that they’re a moron, and do so with their MAGA hat and their MAGA t-shirts and their MAGA tattoos. Yes, these are some truly classy people. We all know what they’re really yelling about is making America white again, meanwhile, most of them aren’t even fully white themselves. Perhaps a mandatory DNA test will shut them up. If not, there’s always the 2020 election.

Big League

Trumpisms

/biɡ lēɡ/

noun

  1. A unit of measurement higher than “big” used to determine the level of a situation. “Mexico is ripping off the United States big league, and we have to do something about it.”

Trump had us fooled this whole time, making us think he was saying “bigly” when he was actually saying “big league.” Neither makes sense, of course, but when future generations look back on this moment of time we’ll want him to be quoted correctly so that they can better understand the sorrows of the American people. Whether it’s bigly or big league, we can’t wait to not have to hear either of them again!

 

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Rose Burke

Freelance writer and art enthusiast, Rose Burke, often writes humorous essays inspired by awkward dating experiences and life’s cruel sense of humor. When she's not doing that, she's typically writing entertainment articles on women's issues, politics, feminism, and other trending topics her readers love. Her work has been published in The Southampton Review, The Conium Review, The Richest, The Independent, CINEMABLEND, and more. Author of the popular feminist blog series "Writings of the Satirical Feminista," Rose is currently focusing on a collection of humorous personal essays while she travels the world.

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