We all know that Donald Trump is a delusional madman, so it should come as no surprise that the distance between his point of view and reality isn’t one that can be conquered on foot. Reality is hardly his forte, and when it comes to how he sees his own life, he seems to lose the little perspective he has. So, let us compare a few of Trump’s opinions on how he lives his life versus how the public sees it because we all know that how Trump sees his life won’t match our own opinions of him.
Trump: Women Love Me / Us: Women Love His Money
We all know that Trump tends to attract the attention of women out of his league, but we also know that it isn’t that mop on his head that’s tempting them. It’s that wad of cash he has in his wallet, one which is likely smaller than he’d like us all to believe. He may always have a beautiful woman on his arm, but he has paid for all of them in some shape or form. Whether it was offering cash in exchange for sex, paying for travel, providing them with the connections they needed to advance their careers, or even granting them American citizenship through marriage, these women were all paid off.
Trump: My Hair Is Amazing / Us: His Hair Looks Like A Furry Slug
Trump’s hair has always been bad, even at it’s best, and as he has gotten older, his hair only looks worse. He might think it looks amazing the way it’s styled these days since it covers his bald spot, but the public would have to disagree. The bald spot might actually look better because whatever it is he has going on up there, it’s just not good. The hair loss pills and surgeries clearly haven’t worked. Maybe he should get a toupe. Or just give up and shave it all off.
Trump: My Hands Are Yuuughe / Us: His Hands Are Microscopic
Trump’s hands might only be slightly smaller than average, but the more he boasts about how huge they are the smaller they get in our minds. He just wants to make sure we aren’t all thinking that he has a small dong because, in his mind, that’s all that is worth thinking about these days. Aside from no one caring about the size of his man-parts, anyone over the age of 16 knows that the size of a man’s hands can’t accurately depict the size of his junk. That doesn’t stop the public from completely ripping on him though, as he obviously doesn’t like it.
Trump: I’m Winning As President / Us: He’s The Worst President In History
Trump thinks he’s doing all sorts of great things as president when the truth is that he’s not. Anyone who divides the country as much as he has is only looking for trouble, not to mention his constant need to push foreign relationships. (Kim Jong Un doesn’t like you. Get over it and go bother Putin.) His presidency has been more about his constant need to stroke his own ego, patting himself on the shoulder every time he leads a minor accomplishment, rather than about doing what’s best for our country and the people.
Trump: I’m A Better President Than Obama / Us: Keep Dreaming Guy
Trump is so out of touch with reality that he’s constantly comparing himself to Obama, always aiming to make himself look better. He tried to say his inauguration had a better turn out, his approval rating is higher, he got the unemployment rate lower, and he has even accused the former president of bugging his office and phones. Because in Trump’s world, Obama is obsessed with him and needs to know what he’s doing and saying at every moment in times. Obviously, the Don has some jealousy issues, as he has done little during his first year in office than try to eliminate anything Obama had his name tied to.
Trump: Melania Worships Me / Us: Melania And Trump Are Heading For A Divorce
If Trump and Melania were sleeping in separate bedrooms before they moved into the White House, there’s no way in hell things have gotten better since the Don was put in office. Not only has he been caught several times making heinous comments about women and immigrants, but he has also been accused of sexual assault and harassment by dozens of women. Not to mention the fact that news broke on his numerous affairs with porn stars and Playboy models. Melania might be keeping appearances up for the media, but the second they move out of the White House, there’s no chance that their marriage isn’t going to end is an expensive divorce. Unless, of course, Melania manages to escape before then.
Trump: I’m Number 1 At Everything I Do / Us: He’s Only Number 1 At Making Crap Up
Trump lies about nearly everything. His crappy reality show was rated number one. His golf game is number one. His nose picking skills, you guessed it, at number one. The president even went as far as to create fake Times magazine covers with his mug on them and fake a phone call while on set at SNL to brag that his book was the number one selling business book. Which, it’s not. The only list he’ll find himself at the top of after this presidency will be the one titled The President Who Told The Most Lies. Then we’ll see if he’s bragging about being number one.
Trump: I Play Golf During My Free Time / Us: He Watches TV And Scarfs Down McDonald’s
While Trump might enjoy a round of golf now and then (and certainly more than Obama ever did), he’s more of a lounge in front of the television with some fast food kind of guy. We already know he’s obsessed with McDonald’s, and word around the White House is that he puts down around 12 Diet Cokes a day. (Yikes!) There’s also a rumor that no one can touch the White House television remotes other than him, likely so he can watch his favorite shows like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and The Bachelorette.