8 Things The Money Used To Bomb Syria Would Have Been Better Spent On

money used to bomb Syria

If you haven’t heard yet, the United States bombed Syria last week, and it cost taxpayers quite a bit of money. While it’s not yet clear exactly how much was spent as the kind of missiles used hasn’t yet been released, it’s estimated to be around $165 million. And that’s just the price tag on the weapons that were likely used. That’s a lot of dough that probably could have been better spent on, well, anything. Here are just a few things that this money used to bomb Syria would have been better spent on.

Giving Flint Clean Water

money used to bomb Syria

So, it’s been years since the people of Flint, Michigan have been able to brush their teeth without filtered water. Years since they’ve been able to shower in their own homes, or to do something as simple as cook a meal for their families using tap water. The government has poisoned these poor people, and now they’re stuck living there. No one wants to buy a house in Flint these days making it impossible for homeowners to move. That $165 million could have easily covered the cost to fix the water pipes or at the very least, purchase the properties from those who are suffering so they can move somewhere else. Offering the value their homes had prior to this incident, of course. We all know that will never happen though.

Buying Ice Cream For Trump Supporters

money used to bomb Syria

There’s no doubt that Trump supporters feel like they’re entitled to a reward for their continued loyalty to the president, especially after sticking by his side after the news of his first affair hit the media. Then the second and third affair came out, and his supporters started dropping like flies. Buying them something sweet like an ice cream cone might help to keep them around, something he might desperately need come to the 2020 election. That is if he hasn’t been impeached before then. A red, white, and blue swirl of deliciousness should do the trick and solidify their vote for the second time around. You know they can’t turn down devouring anything that resembles the American flag.

Lending Puerto Rico A Hand

money used to bomb Syria

Whether the president wants to admit it or not, the United States government is responsible for Puerto Rico and the wellbeing of their residents. Understandably, it takes years to recover from such a massive natural disaster, but the people shouldn’t be forced to figure it out on their own. They shouldn’t be stuck living in the dark or have to put up with failing electricity on a daily basis. It has been months since they were hit by Hurricane Maria and they’ve received very little help from our government. Even 1% of the money used to bomb Syria could have helped out the residents of Puerto Rico. For those who aren’t handy with the calculator, that’s $1.65 million.

Late Night Pizza For White House Staffers

money used to bomb Syria

You know that working alongside Trump can’t be easy. His ignorance and lack of political experience have got to drive so many of the White House staffers to drink on their downtime. Some probably even keep a flask on them at all times. From the moment they leave the office staff members probably head to the bars to binge drink until they erase the memories of their day. It’s just the kind of night that deserves a call to Dominos or Pizza Hut. A cost that should understandably be covered by taxpayers.

Dealing With The Student Loan Crisis

money used to bomb Syria

At $1.4 trillion, this money certainly wouldn’t have been able to fix the student loan crisis, but it certainly could have helped. Whether by settling a large number of loans or making state colleges free in order to eliminate the need for teenagers to borrow such a ridiculous amount of money, that $165 million certainly could have helped. But, like the residents of Flint and Puerto Rico, the government couldn’t care less about student drowning in debt.

Severance Pay For Everyone Trump Fires

money used to bomb Syria

Trump seems to have a real issue with keeping his staff around for very long. Since being in office, dozens of White House staff members have resigned suddenly or been blatantly fired. Not that any of them likely need the money, but using that money to pay for a few months of severance pay for them would have definitely made taxpayers happier than starting a war. Then we might even have some money left over to do something else for the country. Like lower taxes, start a women’s baseball league, or give everyone a free one-month subscription to Netflix.

Build A Safe Place For Syrian Refugees

money used to bomb Syria

Our government doesn’t even help out our own citizens, let alone anyone else who comes in. America’s slogan seems to be, “Let the people struggle until they die off and if they manage to survive then we’ll pull out the big guns and take care of them.” Since the Syrian refugees weren’t welcome here, perhaps rather than bombing their country we could have spent that money on resources to help them find a safe place to go. The money could have been spent on food, water, clothes, and other resources that they need. This kind of things shows weakness, though. If we ever did something nice for refugees, people would start thinking that the White House food was being poisoned with Xanex.

Get Trump A Proper Spray Tan

money used to bomb Syria

Clearly, Trump is being cheap about his tanning products, and the proof is in his face. Since a large part of being the president is in the presentation, then using taxpayers money to find someone to give him a better spray tan isn’t so far fetched. At least he’s not using the money to get a golden shower from a bunch of hookers. With an improved skin tone and less visible tan lines, he might actually be worthy of our respect. Other countries might even stop making America the but of their jokes. And while we’re at it, perhaps use the leftover money to fix his hair. Whether it’s a combover or hair plugs, it’s just bad and something needs to change.

Regardless of this money would have been better spent on, it’s safe to say that blowing millions of taxpayer dollars to bomb Syria wasn’t the best decision.


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Rose Burke

Freelance writer and art enthusiast, Rose Burke, often writes humorous essays inspired by awkward dating experiences and life’s cruel sense of humor. When she's not doing that, she's typically writing entertainment articles on women's issues, politics, feminism, and other trending topics her readers love. Her work has been published in The Southampton Review, The Conium Review, The Richest, The Independent, CINEMABLEND, and more. Author of the popular feminist blog series "Writings of the Satirical Feminista," Rose is currently focusing on a collection of humorous personal essays while she travels the world.


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