Facebook might allow us to share what we’re eating for lunch and some far-too-personal information about our lives that most people don’t want to hear, but it’s also to blame for everything wrong with society. As the creator of Facebook, obviously, it’s all Mark Zuckerberg’s fault. He started a revolution that pushed social media to the extreme so that it’s practically required in every industry in existence as part of their sales or marketing plan. Great for business, but not so great for the rest of the world. Here’s a look at why Zuckerberg is to blame for literally everything wrong with the world.
Facebook Is A Platform To Share Uneducated Opinions On
It’s one thing for people to update their relationship status every few weeks or to share one too many photos from their beach vacation, but Zuckerberg really takes things too far by asking us what’s on our mind each time we log in. Not only do people take this as an invitation to share an update several times a day, but some of the things people write are just mind-numbingly stupid. As we all know, idiocy is contagious, and Facebook allows people to spread this disease with just the click of a few buttons. It has gotten so bad that some are not only believing everything piece of nonsense they come across, but they’re also sharing it with others. Zuckerberg has truly created a virus that is now starting to affect the country at its core.
Social Media Makes Cheating Nearly Impossible
Even if you’ve never had a single social media page, you still leave behind a digital footprint on a regular basis. Face recognition technology conveniently puts all of your photos in a single place so that they’re easier to find. And with location tags and Snapchat’s find a friend feature, it’s hard to get away with things these days. Even a small lie like saying you’re going to the gym when you’re actually going out for a drink won’t fly in the age of technology. Cheaters don’t stand a chance. Especially with the investigative skills that so many people have developed since social media came about, there’s really nothing that can be hidden anymore.
Everyone Assumes Your Photos Are Edited
Whether you’re a ten or a two according to today’s ridiculous beauty standards, everyone can be a ten on the internet with the right photo editing skills. So many people take this to extremes that people just can’t believe a photo isn’t altered in some way once it has been posted. Posted a selfie with a celebrity? Your friends think it’s fake. Lost weight and shared a photo comparison? Your friends think you edited it. We’ve all lost faith in humans being capable of telling the truth.
It’s Harder To Get Away With Murder
You’d think it’s common sense that if you’re going to kill someone, you shouldn’t have a live Facebook video going to capture it all. Or Snaphchat. Or Instagram. Common sense is certainly a trait people lack these days, however, even those who aren’t dumb enough to record their murderous habits won’t get away with it with the public being constantly glued to their phones. Always ready to take photos and videos at a moments notice. We no longer run from danger. We record it. Smart, huh?
People Are Getting Fired For Their Posts
What you do after you’ve put in your eight hours on the job is no longer private. Everyone knows everyone else’s business. Playing hooky is harder than ever, as you have to make sure anyone you’re with knows not to post any photos of you that might reveal you’re not actually at your grandmother’s funeral. Otherwise, you get fired. If you post something that isn’t inline with your company’s values, then you might find yourself out of a job. Even if you’re trying to be funny by telling all of your followers what a prick your boss is or sharing a story about that time you smoked a blunt with a coworker in the bathroom, it’s just a matter of time before you’ll find yourself in line at the unemployment office. Thanks a lot, Zuckerberg!
We Can Never Get Away From Our Exes
Yes, Zuckerberg, you’ve allowed us to keep in touch with that second cousin once removed we recently discovered living in China, but you’ve made it pretty damn hard to avoid seeing the faces of those we despise. Each time we sign into Facebook, it’s a humiliating reminder of our dating histories. The affairs, one night stands, relationships that ended ugly. These faces haunt us on a daily basis. And let’s face it, we’d all prefer to assume that our exes are off being miserable without us in their lives. Not falling in love with someone else, getting married, and having kids. So we unfriend them and unfollow them, but they show up tagged in our other friend’s photos or listed under people we may know. There’s no escaping them.
Facebook Gives Trolls A Voice
Other than people who are ignorant social media also provides a platform for trolls to do their troll thing on, and more often than not their “troll thing” consists of creating absolute chaos out of thin air. They do it for the entertainment, the thrill of the scam, the money, or even to screw up an entire country’s presidential election. Whatever their reason, it basically comes down to them being sick and twisted people who Zuckerberg’s unable keep off social media using some kind of algorithm. Now we’re stuck having a man with Cheetos for brains running our country who, regardless of his numerous indiscretions and committed crimes, is seemingly impossible to impeach.
Everyone’s Wasting Their Time On Facebook
We’re all guilty of it. We spend too much time on social media, wasting our lives away. From the moment we get to work in the morning until we rest our heads on our pillows at night, our phones are glued to our hands. If it’s not Facebook, then it’s Instagram or Twitter or Snapchat. It has become such an addiction that there’s no chance it’s not getting in the way of some major advancements. Imagine how much progress you would have made reading that book list, learning to paint, or training for that 5K if you didn’t have access to social media for even just a week. Now think of all the people working to cure cancer, making advancements in technology, and those off saving the planet. Imagine everything they could have gotten done by now if they weren’t sitting on Facebook all day like the rest of us, and it’s all your fault, Zuckerberg!
Author: Rose Burke
Freelance writer and art enthusiast, Rose Burke, often writes humorous essays inspired by awkward dating experiences and life’s cruel sense of humor. When she’s not doing that, she’s typically writing entertainment articles on women’s issues, politics, feminism, and other trending topics her readers love.
Her work has been published in The Southampton Review, The Conium Review, The Richest, The Independent, CINEMABLEND, and more. Author of the popular feminist blog series “Writings of the Satirical Feminista”, Rose is currently focusing on a collection of humorous personal essays while she travels the world.