Trump Congratulates New Dictator, Despite Being Told Not To

In a shocking reveal, President Trump refuses to obey his handlers. Act surprised, guys!

Trump, who has for ages been a clear beacon of ignorant refusal in the swampy night of expert opinion, doesn’t listen to the people paid to advise him. If this shocking turn of events rocks you to your core, I got bad news for you pal. We’re just getting proof of what we’ve surely always known.

Most recently, the Trump White House had a pretty embarrassing leak come into the spotlight. Vladimir Putin, as you may know, just recently “won” his countries sham presidential election with 77% of the vote. Now, if you know anything about actual elections, single people don’t get 77% of the vote in fair elections. But Putin, apparently realizing how bad a 97% return would look, decided to lower his fraudulent results to something a little more reasonable, like 77%. A safe, intellectual value.

A bad election

Of course, that election was entirely for show. It was rife with abuse and no one believes it was fair. Putin’s major rival was in prison and legally barred from running for office. Voters were bribed into voting for Putin. There’s video evidence of ballot-stuffing and evidence of poll workers hiding their work. The election monitoring organization Golos found more than 1,500 election violations across the country. So congratulating Putin on his hollow “victory” would be kind of a stupid idea. Especially for a country that wants to be seen as the beacon of democracy and righteousness in the Western world. Essentially, you’d be congratulating a criminal on getting away with their crime. So, of course, Trump, who never saw a bad idea he didn’t immediately like, decided to give old Vlad a call and dish out some congrats. They’re pals! They’re accused of colluding to steal an election! Why not?

Well, because his national security advisors wrote “DO NOT CONGRATULATE” across the top of the briefing informing the President that Putin had won the election. Let’s think about this: Trump’s staff knows how dumb Trump is. They know how much he loves to do idiotic things. They tried to take measures against him doing something so obviously stupid. And yet, Trump completely ignored them. I can see the scene unfolding now: Trump saw that note and thought, “Pfft, what do those LOSERS know! I’m the decider!” before, chortling like a fool, he picked up his telephone and asked someone who knows how to operate a button to ring up Vlad.

Don’t worry, though: Trump had a “very good call” with Vlad the Rad, so I’m sure things are just going great. I’m sure they’ll hang out soon.

Alex Fox


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