Parenthood and raising a family is not easy. Despite what other moms or dads might have you believe, no one really has it all 100% together. (Though there are indeed moments when they can go 100% Mom or 100% Dad. In those cases, bless their hearts, they’re just doing their best as human beings.) And seriously, all that judgey-ness is not dong anyone any favors.
So put down them judgeyness glasses, and sit down for some laughs. Relax; you”ve survived Monday, and it’s time you laughed a bit.
Oh, mom. *sigh*
Parenthood is 50% saying, 'Don't do that,' and the other 50%, 'I told you so.'
— Fluffy Suse (@fluffysuse) December 17, 2015
And oh, Dad. Unfortunately, I don’t think the appliance store sees this as a refundable thing…
90% "I'm overwhelmed by my love for these children."
10% "These kids are broken. Send them back."
— Happy Daddy (@Happiestdaddy) June 28, 2013
Two-year-olds turn out to be the most excellent question-giver ever, specially on the potty. It’s those moments wen you just want to answer “42! 42! 42 is the answer to Life, the universe, and everything!”
Parenting is 10% inspiration, and 90% answering endless futile questions posed by a small person sitting on a portable toilet.
— Mark O'Connell (@mrkocnnll) February 10, 2016
Family life sometimes turns out to be the tug-of-war of power and control. and yes, it’s trrible, it’s funny, and it’s terribly funny.
Parenthood is 50% arranging nice things for your kids to do and 50% threatening to take them away.
— Fluffy Suse (@fluffysuse) July 2, 2015
Or, you know, just hiding their things so they don’t get completely traumatized.
Parenting is 90% threatening to throw their crap away if they don't clean it up.
— Kristen Howerton (@kristenhowerton) August 24, 2013
Yelling. So much yelling.
Parenting is 50% preemptive yelling, 40% actual yelling and 10% yelling about how much you hate yelling.
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) January 16, 2014
But let’s admit it. In the end, you the parent ends up being the one looking for their stuff.
Parenting is 20% spending time with your kids providing love and advice and 80% looking for their shoes.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 9, 2013
When all else fails, … Hello, wine, my old friend.
Parenting is 50%coffee,75% wine and 100% getting your math wrong because wine.
— Alison Lee (@AlisonSWLee) June 2, 2016
So when the kids are away or asleep, go sink into that sofa, and dive into your favorite snack. You deserve it.
Ninety percent of parenting is trying to remember where you hid all the good snacks after the kids go to bed.
— Cath (@cathisamazing) March 9, 2016