This Glorious Pasta Study Has Failed Us All


Pasta

This is one bit of news that the Flying Spaghetti Monster, that great pasta diety in the sky, would vehemently wriggle its noodley appendage at in disgust.

Pasta had its day in the sun earlier this week with some ground-breaking news that rocked social media. apparently, pasta not only does not contribute to obesity…

https://www.facebook.com/time/posts/10153813101766491

… pasta eaters are actually thinner, …

https://www.facebook.com/EliteDaily/posts/1211837828867847

… and that it can even make you lose weight.

https://www.facebook.com/Cosmopolitan/posts/10154328702597708

Suddenly the heavens opened, and all was right in the world.

Pasta lovers could now feel at peace with the world.

Amen-brother-gif

But alas, as all things must, the truth did out.

At the bottom of the news release announcing the findings is a rather sobering note: the study’s findings were partially financed by none other than Italian pasta maker Barilla — a company that definitely has a vested interest in making people eat more pasta.

Barilla was quite pleased with the study’s findings, but noted in a statement to Mashable that they did not have a hand or any sort of influence in the research. “We are encouraged by the findings of the study and continue to be interested in exploring and learning more about the health benefits of pasta and a Mediterranean diet,” a Barilla representative said. They also maintained that other parties, such as The Italian Ministry of Economic Development, also contributed funds to the success of the study.

So how did this pasta study really go down?

  1. Many of the participants of the study subsisted on a Mediterranean diet — meaning, they ate a lot of plant-based foods, cut down on meat, and supplemented it with a lot of exercise. This means it’s a diet with a lot of tomatoes, olive oil and garlic.
  2. Moreover, the largest mount of pasta anyone in the study ate was 89 grams. that’s practically less than a fifth of a regular serving of pasta at Olive Garden.
  3. Unfortunately, because of some erroneous answers given by the participants, specially when describing their body type or the last few meals they ate, the researchers at first connected pasta with obesity during a “crude analysis”. When they corrected for underreporting, they later said that eating pasta did not contribute to obesity. Huh?

So yeah, this news does not go down well.

Himym_noooo

How dare you, Barilla?! How could you do this to us?!

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We’re still kinda thinking about that last homophobic and rather sexist statement you made, so… Not cool, Barilla. Not cool.

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Jonette

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