Oh No, Kim Kardashian, Please Don’t Quit Instagram

Instagram’s updated terms of service haven’t been what you might call “popular” since being announced to almost overwhelming criticism, especially by celebrities.

For every MySpace Tom and Mike Stenger telling you “don’t worry, the update isn’t what you think it is, give them a chance to change the language,” there are 10-20 Kim Kardashians playing reactionary to unfavorable news that they probably received second-or-third-hand.

In Kardashian’s case, the reality TV star and a handful of her family members are not in favor of the new terms of service, and are reportedly threatening to leave Instagram for a rival photo-sharing service.

“Kim is telling friends she’s considering leaving unless its new policies are drastically revised, ASAP,” reports TMZ. “She’s thinking about shutting down her Instagram account, going to a rival photo-posting company … and taking all of her followers with her.”

To be fair to Kim Kardashian (words I never thought I’d say), Business Insider does note that she is the most followed user on Instagram with 5,731,011 followers and counting. Still, the news that she’s leaving the service has been semi-confirmed by various Kardashian Twitter accounts:

Kim Kardashian Twitter

Khloe Kardashian Twitter

Now of course, these people are celebrities. Who has any right to expect that they will do their homework, or acknowledge the fact that Instagram has heard these complaints loud and clear, and has pledged to clean up the language in the new terms of service so that it’s less vague and exploitative? No one, that’s who.

While losing Kim Kardashian’s followers might be a pretty nasty blow to Instagram, the rest of us aren’t exactly losing sleep over the threat. I’ll leave you with this reflection by Linda Sharps of CafeMom, because she explains my reaction to the announcement better than I can, and with much less nihilism:

“I mean, can you even imagine a world without Kim Kardashian’s Instagram images? This photo, for instance, which depicts a sugary concoction on the left and a plate of ahi tuna on the right. Without such scintillating visuals, and commentary such as ‘really want this frozen hot choc but gonna be good eat this tuna salad instead,’ what would the one hundred and forty-five thousand people that have liked that particular picture do with their lives? FALL INTO AN UNENDING PIT OF BLEAK DESPAIR, THAT’S WHAT.”

All this means to me is that I might have to start up a new account with another photo-sharing service so that I can keep track of Kim’s endless bikini photos. What an inconvenience.

Dusten Carlson
Dusten has written for web and print and currently spends his time working on his upcoming graphic novel. He is also almost 30 and still has all of his hair.

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