“Dead or Alive” Oppai Mousepads May Be Bustiest Ones Yet [NSFW]


Some of you readers out there may be fans “Dead or Alive”, the gaming franchise that brings boob physics and high-definition sports and martial arts to more, ehem, nosebleed-inducing heights. Some of you may play it for the heat of the competition, the one-on-one heart-stopping action, or even just for the quick gratification of enjoying a lovely pair of animated boobs bouncing in your face.

Whatever your reasons for being fans, Koei Tecmo and mousepad maker Softgarage is coming out with merch for the game that will make most fans want to part with their hard-earned money. Two of the series’ newest stars, Honoka (left), and Marie Rose (eight), have been turned into oppai (“boobie”) mousepads.


The generous padding in their chests promise to be “life-sized”, meaning these are made to the exact scale in the rather extensive bust information portions provided on the character profiles. Talk about dedication to detail.

Honoka’s mounds of plenty stand at 11 centimeters (4.3 inches) above any flat surface the mousepad is laid upon, which might make this gem the most buxom item Softgarage has ever created.  We’re not entirely sure just how feasible this might be in its use as an actual wrist cushion; maybe it be better suited as a forehead or eye cushion for the exhausted gamer?


However, its high-grade super-soft silicone is not just great for napping. According to this tweet, it’s also good for bouncing volleyballs off.

*sympathetic cringe* Ouch!
*sympathetic cringe* Ouch!

And for those of you out there who want a little more oppai action, here’s another video of Honoka getting tested with a metal drying pole, not that that’s suspicious or anything.

For those of you who might be interested in more delicate decollettes, however, Marie Rose just might be the girl for your desk. Her mousepad pads stand 3 centimeters in height, which might make for a more ergonomic, streamlined mouse-gaming experience.


Each oppai mousepad costs around $232. Honoka and Marie Rose can be ordered directly from Softgarage’s site, with shipping scheduled late June.

And just in case you need any more encouragement, here’s the gameplay trailer for Dead or Alive Xtreme 3, with all the beach fun, pool sports, and impossible swimwear for you to soak up:


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