Unless you’ve been living under a rock (and if you’re one of the Oregon terrorists, you just might be) you’ve seen the news about the armed yet “peaceful” militia that’s willing to kill or be killed in the name of freedom (aka the right to set fire to land that doesn’t belong to you). Oh, and the fact that the government is bad for… preserving wildlife? They’re a bit unclear about their goals, or even their motivation (other than “gov’ment bad!”), but they sure are doing whatever it is they’re doing. You know, all peacefully with guns.
— bennydiego????????????️???? (@bennydiego) January 4, 2016
And then there’s Twitter; determined to ruin everybody’s anti-government good times with cold, hard jokes like these:
Oregon militiamen are willing to be martyred for their cause. And if they die, they will receive 72 cousins in the afterlife. #YallQaeda
— Belvin Klopoknik (@Klopoknik) January 4, 2016
Seriously, whoever came up with the “Ya’ll-Qaeda” thing deserves a medal.
No, dude. That’s just inhuman. This many white guys without mayo OR deliciously mysterious wonder bread? That’s just asking for things to get ugly.
— John Hulsey ????️???? (@JohnHulsey) January 3, 2016
John here has a point. But more importantly, he has a pun. #YeeHawd perfectly sums up the militia’s embarrassing desire to give up their very lives in the name of… um… no more government-owned bird sanctuaries. Ugh. At least Al-Qaeda are compelling bad guys.
In any case, let’s just say the Oregon terrorists’ haven’t exactly won over the hearts of Twitter users. They haven’t really won over the hearts of anybody else, either–well, anybody who isn’t their own grandpa, anyway. This is what years of physical and intellectual isolation (plus a hefty dose of testosterone and firearms) does to people; it makes them take over bird sanctuaries and pat themselves on the back as heroes.
Enjoy prison, guys. Or don’t–the local government didn’t have time for your nonsense, maybe there will be similar eye-rolling on the Federal level.
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