London Cafe Called Fu**offee Told to Take Down Sign

There are some puns that are just too good to pass up. ‘Fuckoffee’ might be one of them, but now lawyers say the cafe that bears the name must remove their signage or be taken to court, citing the coffee shop’s “offensive” name.

The managers of the popular South London shop received a threatening legal letter from their landlord, despite the fact that the sign bearing the offensive pun has been in place for over a year. Perhaps the landlord just now bothered to look—or maybe he’s a little slow between the ears, who knows?

In any case, it didn’t go over well with the cafe’s management, who quickly took to social media to mock the letter. Warning: it seems the people behind Fuckoffee have a predilection toward drawing phallic symbols on things.

You have to admire their bravery.

The letter reads, in part:

“We are instructed that you have either erected or allowed your sub-tenant to erect an offensive sign on the exterior of the building… without the permission or authority of our client and this constitutes a trespass.”

Apparently, people had been complaining about the London cafe, even going so far as to report the signage to police. Oh, England. We never know what to make of you. One moment your comedians are prancing about in drag and dropping not-so-subtle innuendo, the next people in the streets are tattling to the police about a little profanity. Make up your mind, England! Either be a country of blustering fuddy-dudders or the modern, transgressive utopia that makes American media look like nap time (only with more graphic violence).

It wasn’t enough for Fuckoffee to mock their landlord’s letter. They’ve also taken to posting other things people may find offensive.

Just some delicious treats. Can’t imagine how people would take it differently.

Well, it is zoologically accurate.

Before you get offended, consider how thoughtful Fuckoffee is to create a caffeine-consumption endpoint. If you make it all the way to “f*ck coffee,” that’s a clearly communicated warning sign that you drink it too f*cking much. Really quite considerate. You don’t see tobacco companies with loyalty cards that say “I’ve smoked [cigarettes], [cigars], [pipes], [enough already].”

Have you ever been to England? It’s cold there, and wet. I think the sun shone there once or twice. Like when Winston Churchill was born and Margaret Thatcher died, or something like that. Anyway, a nice dip in some steaming hot liquid is the perfect way to keep testes up to temp, so we see no problem with this at all.

Keep up the fight, Fuckoffee. America is behind you. Mostly, we’re behind you in healthcare, income equality, effective policing, and overall quality of life. But we’re behind you on this, too. Cheers, or whatever.


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Timothy Bertrand
Writer and journalist living in the Houston, Texas area. Follow me for breaking news, editorials, pictures of cats doing human activities, and other such content from around the web.


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