Alabama Walmart Stocks Up Lube, Mistakes It for Gun Oil


Walmart has been known to do its best satisfying its customers — this Alabama store just wasn’t hoping to satisfy their customers THAT way.

Jamie Lee Bracey was out buying supplies at his local Florence, Alabama Walmart, and wandered over to their gun counter and spied a container of “water-based lubricant”. Hmmm.

Bracey narrates in his video: “So I’m an Walmart. Nobody’s here to help me. I’m looking around and I see this ‘Gun Oil’ and I’m like, “Oh wow! It says water based lubricant for your gun!” So I was like, water based? That could rust!…So I start reading up on it.”

And here’s a handy description straight off from Amazon:
BangBangBangGun Oil – the premium, condom-safe lubricant that keeps a man’s most important weapon well oiled. If the military issued a lube, this is what they’d distribute with the condoms and artillery. During Operation Desert Storm, Marines jacked off with actual military-issue gun oil while hunkered down in the trenches of Kuwaiti battlefields. A group of those marines has developed a high-tech, condom-safe formula for smooth, rapid-fire action. This silicone-based lube keeps a Private’s parts well-lubricated with added Vitamin E and Aloe Vera for longer lasting, slicker ride and minimized skin irritation. The ultra-concentrated formula is designed to out-perform comparable top-shelf products – a few drops lubricate thoroughly without breaking down or drying out.

Hey, soldier. You've got a pretty powerful gun right there. You're packing a lot of heat. Need some help... getting it nice and slick?
Hey, soldier. You’ve got a pretty powerful gun right there. You’re packing a lot of heat. Need some help… getting it lubed up?

Now before you start saying, “But Jonette, all genders can equally enjoy the benefits of a good lube.” True, true, but here’s a reminder of who Gun Oil’s target market is:

GunOil

Aaaah, yes. Nothing like the glorious irony of the situation. After all, Gun Oil’s top-quality line of products promises to “always deliver a highly satisfying experience and elevate the vital expression of masculine fulfillment.”

Even Bracey can see the humor in the irony. “They don’t even know what they’re selling; it’s crazy. Getcha some!”

No news yet whether this branch of Walmart took it off the shelves, but we’re seriously hoping they don’t.

Feature Image: “Sailor Loading Fixed Ammunition” by McClelland Barclay
Image sources[1] [2]
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Jonette

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