Just like op-ed writer Jay Rosen tweetted on the latest devices of another: “When your op-ed is so bad it creates a hashtag #millennialpledge for people hating on it, this does not mean “you struck a nerve.”
Earlier this weekend LA Times Op-Ed writer Chris Erskine sent out an article very self-explanatorily entitled “Millennials, you literally cannot call yourselves adults until you take this pledge”. With a title like this and that very odd burbling in your stomach making its presence felt as you read it, you know this sort of thing isn’t going to go down well.
It contained a list of pledges that, while some proved rather sensible, had such gems as:
• I will not shun comedians or college commencement speakers just because I don’t agree with them.
• Just once, I will try eating without texting.
• Each year, I will pen at least one thank-you note, using what’s left of my cursive writing skills.
• I will (mostly) swear off smut.
• I will not be smut.
• If my first-born is a boy, I promise not to name him Uber.
• If I hate my new job, I will not fake my own death. I will give a full two weeks’ notice like grown-ups usually do.
• In high school or college, I will get a part-time job. Even if it’s beneath me.
• Again, nothing is beneath me.
Aah yes, the nothing like the smell of condecension in the morning.
The articles spread like wildfire, and clearly, Millenials were not having any of it. They tweeted their responses to him and LA Times, and Erskine bucked back by releasing a second article entitled “#MillennialPledge backlash is ‘what you get when you raise an entire generation without spanking”. To complete the horror, here are some telltale excerpts from the piece:
As you might expect, the first wave of reaction was from older readers, who’d seen it in print (and wake up before 7 a.m.).
The second and third wave came from millennials themselves, who proved to be frightfully smug and humorless over the whole thing.
To me, this is what you get when you raise an entire generation without spanking.
[…] Has any single one of you punks been drafted?
The oceans are cleaner, the roads safer, the economy more diverse. And, oh yeah, it was boomers who invented your precious iPhones and personal computers.
Ooooh, Erskine, you just did not go there.
Read that asinine #millennialpledge op-ed. I purposefully avoided it until I finished writing my TED talk so I wouldn't go mad with rage.
— G. Willow Wilson (@GWillowWilson) October 13, 2015
I used to have a sense of humor, but at age 28, I traded it to pay off part of my obscene medical debt #millennialpledge
— ace ratcliff (@MortuaryReport) October 12, 2015
btw, @latimes and @erskinetimes, discriminatory ageism isn't actually "humor," which doesn't make millennials humorless. #millennialpledge
— ace ratcliff (@MortuaryReport) October 12, 2015
No, you don’t saaaay?!
Ahahaha yea ok sure you are
@latimes pic.twitter.com/E0gPL58LPU
— Dene Gennerit Witch (@Tipsycaek) October 11, 2015
@Tipsycaek @erskinetimes @latimes it seems like he can't distinguish between "defensive because accurately called out" and…
— Gabriel Duquette (@GabrielDuquette) October 13, 2015
@Tipsycaek @erskinetimes @latimes …"annoyed/exasperated by smugness not coupled with any insight"
— Gabriel Duquette (@GabrielDuquette) October 13, 2015
Millenial Twitter users went into an uproar: Just how out-of-touch can this guy be? Like, seriously?
“Back in my day, kids weren’t like this.” – literally every generation since the dawn of time #millennialpledge
— DonnaTheDead (@MildlyAmused) October 12, 2015
.@fivefifths @latimes pic.twitter.com/F7hyzj34OT
— Luis Paez-Pumar (@paezpumarL) October 11, 2015
The #MillennialPledge, basically pic.twitter.com/yHBQMfjW1A
— Erin Ruberry (@erinruberry) October 11, 2015
Because, oh I don’t know, there’s bee a lot of stuff to clean up and fix that SOME earlier generation messed up, and no one’s going to care about it except whoever inherits it. and who’s that? Oh, right, us Millenials!
#millennialpledge is obviously a silly article but seriously: we're cleaning up your economic mess+fighting your wars. respect would be nice
— spooky jones (@onesarahjones) October 11, 2015
1. Oceans have never been in worse shape 2. Economy is not diverse 3. *Other* boomers, not you. #millennialpledge pic.twitter.com/uRnGMxZrd2
— Actual Coffin (@petercoffin) October 13, 2015
@DreddByDawn dont forget to thank boomers for climate change.
— Jeremy Lassen (@jlassen) October 12, 2015
Hey Baby Boomers, how ’bout you make your own pledges too, huh? How ’bout that?
. @latimes Boomer pledge:
I won't ruin the environment
I won't ruin the economy
I won't demand that you act grateful for the hell we made
— Alex Hardisons Ghost (@euchrid) October 11, 2015
Millenials made their own significant pledges.
#millennialpledge I will never write a think piece, even in jest, decrying a younger generation
— good wench of the NE (@kingdomofwench) October 11, 2015
I pledge to leave society better than it was when I found it by making positive change for this and the next generation. #MillennialPledge
— Aria Ehren (@litui) October 13, 2015
I pledge to not suffer needlessly in life or make others suffer because old people insist that it's the only way to adult. #MillennialPledge
— Aria Ehren (@litui) October 13, 2015
And that’s when Twitter users started laying the sick burns.
My #millennialpledge is to dismantle the racist policies white baby boomers and gen-Xers crafted.
— Donald Myers Jr. (@Llydisblur) October 13, 2015
I will not be trolled by bad writers
#millennialpledge
— Nothing Matters Guy (@JGreenDC) October 12, 2015
I will spam the internet w selfies to distract myself from the fact that I will never be able to afford a house or a car #millennialpledge
— Living Dredd Girl (@DreddByDawn) October 12, 2015
I will use slang Boomers hate b/c despite the fact I have a well paid fulltime job, I can barely afford my student loan #millennialpledge
— Living Dredd Girl (@DreddByDawn) October 12, 2015
I will text during dinner to dull the pain of working 45+ hrs a week and still not not being able to save for my future #millennialpledge
— Living Dredd Girl (@DreddByDawn) October 12, 2015
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