Aaaah, college fails. University students hate you with the passion of a thousand dying suns, but looking on the bright side, you’re always a good story to tell at the end of the day. Or week. Or month. Or semester. Hey, don’t look at us,, sometimes you’re really, really not easy to get over, specially when our GPA, allowance, health, sanity, or an infernal mix of all the aforementioned hang in the balance.
So allow us to wallow in your absurd sense of cosmic humor for a spell. We all need a good laugh-cry sometimes.
sometimes, the insanity starts even waaaay before you’ve packed your bags and kissed your folks goodbye. You’re handed brochures for your college of choice, and… uh… there’s something wrong here, and I don’t think it’s just the spelling.
It does kinda make you start questioning your life choices… which is how college kinda works. Right?
Even on the website. Superb.
But hey, your buddies are excited for you and are wishing you all the best for college. To kicking hypothetical butts in University!
So, the first rule of succeeding in college is showing up in class. Of course! Piece of cake, right?
You find a seat, turn to your classmate, and things get weirder.
Don’t even get me started on the presentations.
This presentation. I have lost the ability to Can.
You resolve to ignore this nonsense and vow to seek academic solace in your text books. Surely, there’s less balderdash between the published pages of your hallowed (and very expensive) references, right?
Oh, it’s okay, I’ll just quietly and kiss about 50% of my finals score goodbye, NBD. *cries internally*
Given enough time, you start feeling like you can pull off this college thing, and start slinging your knowledge around like the elite academic ninja you are. Such learning! Very knowledge!
But really, this is how most of your classes go down. And you’re cool with that.
And no matter how well-enough or secure that classmate of yours seems, we all know this what everyone wants. And they ship it. Hard.
And then, there’s the savior of every student busting a nerve racing to get that essay done — Caffeine.
No, not just coffee. Caffeine. big difference.
And if by combined serendipity of hard work, luck, benevolent teachers, crazy friends, the will of the GPA gods, and blood, sweat, and tears yo do graduate University, congratulations! Welcome to the rest of your career-driven life.
… well, there’s always graduate school?
When you feel you’re just about to lose it over college, chill. Thepensters.com had got you covered with any essay-writing needs you may have, and save you a few sleepless, weepy nights of agonizing over that term paper due in a few hours or so. Have faith, little one. We’ll get you through this one.
[Feature image courtesy of Pink Sherbet Photography]
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