Cancer Patient Take Hilarious Approach To Treatment Via Twitter


Cancer patient
[Photo credit: Twitter]

Cancer is a horrible disease and the treatments for the ailments are incredibly enduring, as well. That’s why the story of newly diagnosed cancer patient, John Underwood is such a ray of sunshine. The UK native was diagnosed with blood cancer just a month ago. Instead of getting down on himself, Underwood decided to approach cancer with a hilarious outlook. He took to Twitter and posted hilarious tweet after tweet.

July 19:
Up early, sipping boiled water, quietly begging I’ll make it into work. Oh Mystery Ailment, you make everything so EXCITING.

Jul 20:
WHY AM I THROWING UP I HAVE LITERALLY ONLY HAD BOILED WATER. At this rate I’m going to die quicker than the bloody Labour Party.

Jul 22:
Right, Bake Off is back in a fortnight. Need to at least live until then so I can decide which participants I don’t trust.

Jul 23:
I have never in my life felt this utterly terrible.

Jul 23:
As you may have guessed from my increasingly morose tweets, I was diagnosed with cancer last night. Huge pain in the a***, obviously.

Cancer patient
[Photo credit: Twitter]
Jul 23:
It’s one of the blood ones, which are actually quite chilled as cancers go, but it’ll take a while to work out exactly which flavour I have.

Jul 24:
Being bled AGAIN. Is the cure for blood cancer ‘just take all the blood away’?

Jul 25:
Wouldn’t say I’m hydrated per se, but this is the first day all week my lips haven’t had to be torn away from my teeth on waking. Progress!

Jul 26:
70 years today since Attlee formed the first Labour majority government, leaving us with the NHS that’s about to save my life. Cheers, lads.

Jul 26:
Doesn’t matter how carefully you portion out your pills for ease of swallowing if you then hit yourself in the face with the final handful.

Jul 26:
Have acquired a pepper grinder, rendering all meals 800% more flavourful. Swear it’s doing more for me than steroids and bed rest combined.

Jul 28:
I never expected to confront the real possibility that Bruce Forsyth might outlive me. Always taken that victory as read.

Jul 28:
Thought this might get me a few RTs. Did not expect five different people to offer to kill Brucie.

Jul 29:
Just ate a chicken leg in bed because I suspect I have never had a more consequence-free opportunity to behave like Henry VIII.

Jul 29:
I can’t believe – genuinely cannot credit – the number of you trying to give away your blood, which you REALLY NEED.

Jul 29:
After 48 glorious hours with my own double room, I have a new neighbour. He splutters. But now I am cock of the cancer walk.

Jul 29:
Can I make him… fetch my chemo? My slippers? To what extend can I leverage my veteran status? There must be guidelines for this.

Jul 30:
With a timely reminder that into each life some rain must fall, it seems Mum has just discovered her emoji keyboard. Lots of cats.

Jul 30:
Lying in a lovely dark room whilst my blood is suffused with radioactive sugar, AND I’ve lost weight! Honestly, cancer is such a nice break.

Jul 30:
I’m not saying choose it over a trip to the Cotswolds, obviously, but I have had MANY worse weeks than this. I used to be a copywriter.

[Photo credit: Twitter]
[Photo credit: Twitter]
Jul 30:
Went to sleep in the scanner. So ruinously lacking in poise.

Jul 30:
John retweeted Ellabell @missellabell Anthony Nolan called to tell me that we have caused an enormous surge in bone marrow register applications. So…ace.

Jul 31:
I just slept for six hours without interruption. No bloods, no drips, no tests. Only woke up because I left the blinds open.

Jul 31:
Main problem with being in hospital is genuinely the struggle to stop it becoming a constant picnic.
I DO NOT NEED a chicken leg.

Aug 1:
Just waltzing around with a huge hat in case I should suddenly need chemotherapy

Aug 2:
Call from Mum. “I’ve made you a courgette loaf from a cancer website, and there’s a super bandana with flames on it in the post.” SORTED.

Aug 2:
Good grief. Never really occurred to me that Cilla Black wasn’t immortal.

Aug 2:
Abruptly v aware that when I go to sleep, I will wake up on chemo day, and I will be undergoing chemo, and it will all be real. Gulp.

Aug 3:
John retweeted Ellabell @missellabell It turns out that the greatest possible response to “Cheer up luv, it might never happen!” is “My boyfriend has cancer, you s***.”

Aug 3:
I have officially started chemotherapy. “Cytotoxic” is a good word, isn’t it?

Aug 3:
Right, want to set up a fundraising page for Anthony Nolan before I publish this article. Is JustGiving the way to go?

[Photo credit: Twitter]
[Photo credit: Twitter]
Aug 3:
So, um, that’s the £1000 target smashed. In… 45 minutes? Blimey. Watching that creep up was supposed to occupy me for WEEKS.

Aug 3:
You are all INCREDIBLE. £1000 is ten new people on the register. Ten potential matches. Ten lives saved.

Aug 3:
I’ve banged it straight up to £2.5k, obviously. May faint if we beat that. (May faint anyway, because chemo, but POSITIVE THINKING.)

Aug 4:
*small voice* That’s six grand, then. Sixty new donors. 4 rugby teams’ worth of people who get another shot at life.

Aug 4:
Made a v mildly sarky comment about @missellabell’s iPad. Her response began: “Just because you’re Saint John of f***ing cancer…” Gosh.

Aug 4:
Um. We just hit ten grand. WE JUST HIT TEN GRAND.

Aug 4:
We’ve cruised past twelve grand while I had a cuppa and a little doze. My contribution is zero at this point.

Aug 4:
Goodnight, you incredible bunch. You have made a potentially grim day one of the very happiest of my whole life.

Aug 5:
Lost count of the number of people who’ve said they’d never really ‘got’ social media before. But we are glorious and SO POWERFUL.

Aug 5:
CRUCIAL aside: I do not have a bucket list. Not even as a joke. Please do not book me in to swim with dolphins or meet a pop star.

Aug 5:
John retweeted DJ Lauren Laverne @laurenlaverne
2 weeks ago young writer @JM_Underwood was diagnosed w lymphoma. Then he did something amazing on Twitter…

Aug 5:
Twenty-five thousand pounds in forty-seven hours and fifty-eight minutes. Plus another £450 since. Plus £5225.48 in Gift Aid.

Aug 5:
Good god, what a thing. What a bloody thing to happen. Thank you all so, so much. Never been so thrilled in my life, cancer be damned. Goodnight, Twitter. You are as good a reason to stick at being alive as any I know.

As you can imagine, Underwood has had an incredible outpouring of support, not only in the form of money, but also offers for blood and bone marrow donations. You can follow Underwood’s courageous battle with cancer on Twitter at @JM_Underwood.

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