Masturbating Men Will Find Their Hands Pregnant in Afterlife, Muslim Televangelist Warns


Well, this is new, religiously speaking. We had heard before from some extreme sects of religion that if you get to heaven, there may be 27 virgins, sitting on a cloud, waiting for you. No comment on that. But this week it seems a new brand of religious fear mongering has presented itself, as the news surfaces on the web of a Muslim televangelist Islamic telling people that if they masturbate. their hands will be pregnant in the afterlife. Wait, WHAT?

If such were the case, do you know how many teenage boys would get to heaven with pregnant hands? Does Heaven have a special room for that? Are there “hand nurses” there to help with the delivery?

hand2

Masturbating is already a very taboo topic among Muslims, so perhaps this is just a way to further spread that terror. Regardless, the comment begets so many simple questions:

Did my hand say yes?

It is consensual?

If my hand DOES get pregnant, where does the baby come out of? A hangnail?

Just more questions, no answer, sadly. Not that I am sure we want them in this instance.

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Remy Carreiro

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