Don’t Suck At FetLife, Or A Guide To Kinky Social Media Sites


fetlife kinky social media

Facebook and Twitter are social networking standard names, but maybe you’ve got a bit of an interest in kinky social media — and sites like FetLife are quietly, discreetly growing in prominence amid the more vanilla social networks.

Of kinky social media options, you’ll find enclaves on Tumblr, Reddit, and other sites — but FetLife is an outlier both in its singular devotion to kink and BDSM and its alignment with real life after social media connections are made.

The internet is for porn, or so they say, and FetLife is for BDSM and kink — a realm in which far many more people than you might realize have a casual to intense interest and drive to get involved. Social News Daily has covered the world of quick hookup social — like Tinder, Grindr, and Bang With Friends — but like kink itself, the BDSM social media thing is a bit more intense, complicated … and maybe fun.

Most people dip a toe in the FetLife pool hesitantly, unaware of the copious real-life social opportunities that crop up on the site in most localities. BDSM and kinky social media aren’t nearly the same as their contemporaries like Facebook, but the ability of kinky folk to make connections with like-minded folk is rife and valuable.

The post linked above examines both FetLife and kinky social media, observing of a local event:

“So as someone from outside the lifestyle looking in, I can appreciate that Purgatory does provide a place for people to dip their toe into kink. It’s also a place for FetLife folks to get together offline. I appreciate seeing any kind of community building, especially for people on the fringes. Human sexuality is amazingly diverse. Everyone should be free to explore their sexual self in a safe and non-judgmental space.”

facebookcleavage pics

Of course, many also find the kinky social media kitchen too hot, and The Gloss recently featured another opinion:

“After another 20 seconds of genuine shock and confusion pulsating through my brain, I kicked the parent/child fetishizer out of my apartment, went back to my room, stripped my bed, and proceeded to load all my sheets into the washing machine. Needless to say, those are two of the fetishes that go right over ‘the line” for me.”

Bang With Friends Zynga lawsuit

As the writer observes, the BDSM and kink social sphere can be a bit intimidating … but it doesn’t mean that every experience is a horror novel waiting to be written.

If you’ve got an interest in exploring your kinky side via the social web, Social News Daily has a few tips to get started safely and unscarily.

Discretion is important

If you’re new to “the scene” and just want to see what’s going, signing up to FetLife or a similar site is the first step to enter a whole new world of BDSM intrigue. You should be aware that contacts (both social and IRL) will be able to see you overall, so choosing a different handle than you normally use is a good idea — as is not using a real name variant, even if you’re not being clever. However …

Pinterest

Don’t be too afraid of getting outed

The possibility of an awkward run-in is always a possibility at kink and BDSM-related events and in online spaces. But if you are judicious with what you share and unafraid, you’ve half taken the teeth out of a potential unpleasant “outing.” You can even post images in which you are featured if you friend carefully and “lock” them to friends only.

Ultimately, kinky social networking relies solely on trust. If you can’t trust your community to shelter you or aren’t sure, get to know people better before getting involved and stick to online chatter. But also, try to let go of the worry someone will hunt you down … after all, they have to be logged in to FetLife in order to find you.

A 2014 Digital Deception in Canada study, sponsored by McAfee, shows kids are rather adept at concealing online actions, as 76 percent of children admit to actively hiding online behavior from their parents.

Be observant

If someone is too wary of being real life friends or being open about who they are generally, it may not be a good idea to get too chummy with them. Kink and BDSM social networks and real-life communities have a beating heart of pre-vetting and semi-openness. A person who shuns this sort of pre-qual may be hiding for reasons other than personal discretion.

Cross over

If you’re really kinky social media involved, make sure to eventually take the leap to the local community and meet others. It’s the fastest way to ensure that you’ll be looked after and protected by friends should you ever encounter an unpleasant party or harassment. There is definite strength in numbers, and kinky social media types fiercely protect their own.

Sexters, especially women, will fake their sexy texts

Don’t be afraid to speak up

Yes, Fetlife has a controversial policy of prohibiting the “naming and shaming” of alleged abusers on the site, but if you’re experiencing something uncomfortable or feel harassed, call upon a friend or a “guardian” for assistance. Generally you’ll find a helpful ear or a well-positioned pal to step in and help you out.

Do you use kinky social media sites or belong to BDSM communities on the social web? Do you feel that kinky social media is on the upswing?


Kim LaCapria

Kim LaCapria is a social media enthusiast, long-time Inquisitr.com writer and beauty and lifestyle industry expert. She covers a wide range of social media topics, with a particular interest in style-related apps and services. When not working, Kim can be found on Facebook and Pinterest, skating, and sneaking off to Spa Castle.

0 Comments

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.