Today is Talk Like A Pirate Day, a holiday we are convinced is only possible due to the existence and prevalence of social media platforms.
Before Talk Like A Pirate Day, September 19 was simply just “Everyone Thinks You’re Being An Asshole” day, since anyone celebrating the “holiday” in the past couldn’t reasonably assume anyone else had any idea why they suddenly started talking stupidly.
But now, thanks to Facebook, Twitter, and their propensity to allow everyone to beat shit over the head until it’s the inverse of cute or funny, you can expect to see dozens of annoying references to Talk Like A Pirate Day today and every September 19th until you die.
Over on Twitter, we have obligatory cats:
It’s Talk Like A Pirate Day! Yarrrrrrr!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/GOQTi6Sylb
— Cute Overload (@CuteOverload) September 19, 2013
Jokes rejected from Laffy Taffy wrappers for being not funny enough:
Q: Why did the pirate go on vacation? A: He needed some AARRRR and AARRR. #TalkLikeAPirateDay
— Huffington Post (@HuffingtonPost) September 19, 2013
OH MY GOD AN EYE CHART GET IT R LIKE PIRATES SAY ARRR OH MY GOD:
Apparently, it’s ‘International Talk Like A Pirate Day’…Here’s a Pirate Eye Test To Get You Started…:) pic.twitter.com/S9qqkCeUGH
— David Coverdale (@davidcoverdale) September 19, 2013
Aye! ‘Tis a beauty. Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, mateys! pic.twitter.com/YkiVjDATxA
— Tim Hortons (@TimHortons) September 19, 2013
And at least one person making sense:
Crazy how “Talk Like A Pirate Day” falls on the same day as “Please For the Love of God Stop Talking Like a Pirate Day”.
— Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) September 19, 2013
If you’re not tired of this Talk Like A Pirate Day bullshit, make sure to set your Facebook language option to pirate, and then incessantly tell all your friends how hilariously funny it is all day.