[Socially Offensive] Are Women Crazy on Facebook?
The answer is, of course, not as a rule- but reading sexist bits of drivel like this really gets my tits in a knot, even if it’s just AskMen.com.
Awesomely, the stereotype of the needy, clingy female has followed us all into the digital age, with Facebook and analogous technology as the lastest place women are pilloried regarding as behaving like obsessive, whiny stalkers all the time. AskMen.com contributer Emily Miller penned what has to be the most pandering, shallow and inaccurate assessment of female presence on social media in a column entitled “Crazy Things Women Do on Facebook.”
Skipping wholesale over the fact that men too have been known to engage in emotionally unhealthy and fixated love-interest wallowing via social media, Miller trots out all the old, tired stereotypes regarding women in relationships- kicking off her offensive missive with the assertion that chicks “are trained in the art of creating, maintaining and controlling relationships, and Facebook is just one more resource they can use to keep tabs on and influence people.” Women as happiness hating harpies that will eat your soul with a side of low-fat Buffalo Ranch: check.
Miller then goes on to assert…
Women set up fake profiles to follow exes on Facebook: This one may seem a bit extreme, but it is certainly not unheard-of for a woman to set up a fake Facebook persona in order to creep on her ex’s profile… If you want to prevent this from happening, don’t add any strangers to your friends list. If you have a friend you know is still in touch with her, keep your interactions limited.
Does this happen? Yes. But is it in any way solely or even predominantly the domain of women on social networks? Not in the slightest. As farfetched as it may seem, men have also been known to resort to deception in order the check up on a lost love. Not an admirable activity, but chances are you know a dude who has done this, too. For the record, I don’t know anyone who has “creeped” using a fake profile- male of female.
Women manipulate through Facebook photos: Another crazy thing women do on Facebook is to put up embarrassing or compromising photos of people that have gotten on her bad side… it’s not only vindictive, but also pretty immature.
A woman might also use her Facebook photo albums to present an image of herself that doesn’t exactly match up to reality. In her photos she might appear more sexy, more adventurous and altogether more exciting than she is in real life.
Again- seriously? You don’t know any men whose Facebook profiles are full of images of them climbing mountains and cozying up to random women who they feel are attractive in order to paint the image of an ideal life? Pretty much everyone does this- it’s called “uploading pictures to Facebook.”
Guess what? I didn’t upload any pics from my last pelvic exam because it wasn’t my most attractive moment, I didn’t feel the need to share it and there’s no rule you have to post your entire life. The idea that women are out to run some sort of scam on men by posting the highlights of their lives while conveniently ignoring the less-relivable aspects is a bit intellectually disingenuous because everybody does this.
Women post passive-aggressive Facebook status updates: For example: “Valerie visited the jewelery [sic] store and is tired of waiting!!!!” could be a not-so-subtle clue that she doesn’t want to wait for that engagement ring much longer. Post-breakup, a woman might post status updates that hint at a crazy social life: “Melanie is exhausted from a crazy night!” or “Jessica is having a great day,” are both the types of messages that say a lot more when they come right after a big breakup.
Again, not the sole domain of women. Some users are a massive, happiness sucking presence of Facebook, and both men and women are known to be passive aggressive on the service. So now women and women only have to monitor everything they say if their relationship fails because posting about a night out or a positive experience is somehow meant to agitate their ex?
Suggestion: if a recent ex’s happy updates upset you, the problem is not with them. Also: Women- living totally and entirely for the presentation of a shiny rock… we’re not interested in anything else!
Miller then reiterates the photo thing, insinuating women try to fake relationships via suggestive photos, before moving on to:
Posting a fake relationship status: Some unattached women choose “in a relationship” for their profile just so people won’t start matchmaking or single-girl-pitying… Some single women even arrange with one of their close girlfriends to be “in a relationship” with each other to avoid this kind of condescending sympathy.
Because if a woman isn’t interested in meeting someone on Facebook, she’s either frigid or a lesbian? Miller’s logic- most frequently seen in frat boys and date rapists- ascribes a sinister motive to a very basic action. Some people, male and female, just don’t want you poking around in their personal business- and what’s more personal than your love or sex life? If anyone on Facebook has “in a relationship” as their status, it is pretty safe to say your advancements are not sought out. It’s not a challenge, it’s a polite nod.
Do you find these stereotypes offensive, even when given a fresh, new social media slant? Should Emily Miller be forced to turn in her Chick Card and leave the sisterhood forever?