Professors Reveal the Funniest Emails They’ve Gotten from Students

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Believe it or not, there’s more to being a professor than showing up and teaching class. And no, I don’t mean scouring the earth for magical artifacts and fighting Nazis, at least not this time. I’m actually talking about the rapport educators need to build with their students. It’s an important part of the job. As a professor, their success is your success. That means being available at all times to answer questions and guide them when needed.

Inevitably, this leads to some pretty hilarious exchanges, as yesterday’s AskReddit thread on the subject demonstrates. The question posed? “Professors of Reddit, what was the funniest (possibly drunk) email you’ve ever received from a student?” We’ve culled the best replies and present them here. Prepare to be amused.

Nice try, buddy

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One professor received this email the night before the class was to have their chemistry midterm. It reads:

“Hello Professor,

Can you please email me a digital version of the second midterm that we will be writing tomorrow? I have seen the practice one outside your office, however I fear that the questions on there will not be the exact questions tomorrow. And there is no reason to practice questions that are not going to be on the midterm, might as well practice the exact ones.

Thank you in advance.”

What do you think? Trying to pull a fast one, or just hopelessly airheaded?

TMI

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This is why you should be paranoid about email forwarding. A young woman accidentally copied the entire class in a private email to her professor. It says:

“Hi,

I would like to let you know that I cannot attend my chem lab (3rd) this morning. This is the first time I could not make it to it since I just got my period last night and usually I’m a heavy bleeder which makes me barely move especially for the first three days. If you could spare me this time and allow me to re-stream and do it that would be great.

I am looking forward to hear from you, [sic]”

At least she handled it well.

“I apologise [sic] to you everyone… yes, I accidentally send it to the wrong person… I thought it works like phsi when u just search pshi191 address and send it to them…so sorry again hope u all [have] a nice day…:P”

Yo Do

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In the student/teacher relationship, respect goes a long way. Just ask Chris, who had to give a three minute speech on red pandas after his email didn’t go over so well with his professor, Justin. Chris’s email reads:

“Yo Do,

I missed class yesterday. What we do?

Chris”

Justin wasn’t happy about his student speaking so casually. And Chris should have known—college professors are notorious for messing with unruly students in clever and ingenious ways. Justin fired back:

“Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo,

We did everything. You’re giving a 3 minute speech on why red pandas are the best animal on Monday. I’m not joking. Also, check out this link http://www.wisekids.org.uk/netetiquette.htm on email etiquette. It’s geared towards children, so it should be pretty easy to follow.

Justin

PS. I don’t put much stock in first impressions, but since I’m here to teach you this one was pretty bad. Also, you really are giving that speech. I’m funny, so you’ll know when I’m joking.”

 

School’s out

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When break time rolls around, students are eager to have a little time off. Some of them are a little too eager. “I taught in the school of business at a large state university,” says one professor. “I once had a student complain that I scheduled a test during spring break. I replied that she must be mistaken, it wasn’t during spring break, the school was open that week. She replied explaining that spring break is about a month long as colleges around the US celebrate it at different times, and she would be in Cancun with her friends that week because that was when their university was having spring break. Also, she was a senior.”

Are you trying to seduce me?

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According to one of his students, a biology professor showed his class an email he received from a student that something to the effect of:

“Hi Mr. X, how about you and me unzip our genes and replicate.”

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Prof. Douche, PhD

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One user offered a cautionary tale about relying too heavily on technology. “I was the student in this one,” he says, “I wrote a letter to the dean of the campus asking for a letter of reference, and I spell checked it before sending. I didn’t read the suggested changes carefully enough, and ended up addressing the dean as ‘Prof. Douche’. He wasn’t very amused. After much apologizing on my part, he accepted that it was an honest mistake, and used it as a lesson for me to not put blind trust in technology.”

Maintain eye contact

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Remember when we talked about email forwarding? Here’s yet another reason you should be paranoid about checking your CC field. Although, this particular student handled the situation rather well.

“I once sent my college department supervisor an email complaining about an adjunct acting inappropriately and accidentally included the adjunct in on the email.” He writes. “When he replied and asked if I meant to do it, I replied, ‘Always include someone in any emails you send complaining about them. It asserts dominance.’ I’d like to say that smoothed it over and we got along famously after that, but he went out of his way to step on my unopened bag of chips the next day.”

Thanks, bro.

Professors are regular people, but that doesn’t mean you should go out of your way to “be cool” with them. Avoid this student’s mistake:

“I taught a while back at a big state school in the South. In a freshman-level class, one student wrote an email to me asking for an extension on a paper that began with the salutation ‘Sup, my nig?’ I don’t remember it word-for-word (should have saved it!), but he asked if I could ‘be chill’ about the deadline, and closed with ‘thanks, bro’.

For reference, I’m white, and the student in question was an American of Iranian descent.

I couldn’t stop laughing at it. I mean, what must be going through his head to think that calling his professor ‘my nig’ is a good idea?”


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Author: Timothy Bertrand

Writer and journalist living in the Houston, Texas area. Follow me for breaking news, editorials, pictures of cats doing human activities, and other such content from around the web.


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